The pain goes on, incessantly. The pain goes on when the night draws its curtain and I started to fret. Poverty stole your golden shoes, but it didn't steal your laughter. But you did. You stole my laughter away from me. And heartache came to visit me.
I am deeply troubled before, during, and after sleep. Waking up from sweet dreams to reality everyday isn't exactly the way to start a day afresh. I know. I know the situation we're having is killing both of us, at the same time. We keep finding new things to argue over, almost every week. When I am tired, you will sneak into your own rhythm of breakup calls. When you are tired, I suddenly realize we have enough and it's my turn to blow the breakup horns. The cycle is vicious, and it's poisoning us. We torture each other, endlessly, tirelessly, until both of us said: "Let's torture each other until we die."
Until my heart tells me: "Let the torture lives on. It just seemed to be impossible for me to live on without her now." So I set out to find my own enemies in my mind that keep telling me to breakup and call it an end once in for all. I swing my sword in such a perfect manner and grace that I lost myself in the battle. And here I go, I scream at the top of my voice every night and day...and every morning when I wake, I tell myself to repeat the same mistake, over and over and over and over again.
Every night, this time, this hour, this minute, I fall at your feet. Your finger of blame waves around in an erratic motion, and sometimes it will turn upon itself. Then you will start to cry. Your tears rain down on me, like jewels falling from the heaven. And you started to go psycho. You are having illusions, suddenly. You wield your words in a smart and accountable fashion. I believe them. I were worried, and I were happy, and then I were lost. Then there I was, you unveil the seemingly 'understandable' truth that it's just a conjured image of yours. I get furious, I get disappointed and I get angry. And then when the fury recedes, I am back to my role as a dog, bowing to you every minute when you need me to.
I resisted, and I gave up. Every now and then we struggle to get the hold of each other. Existence itself is redefined. We are meant to be. We are meant to exist together while tormenting each other.
Until the hour came that I decided to end it all for good. Am I doing the right thing? Am I actually solving the problem in the right way? I don't know. I love her. I love her with the whole of my heart. I started this call of relationship with good deeds. I keep wondering, why am I on a no man's land while I have so many plans at start that seem to execute perfectly? What are our problems? There are a thousand questions to answer, and none of them I have any clue. You told me, if we love each other enough, then 'torture' itself is actually an enjoyment rather than sadness and burden. But it has been a burden to me. Is it true? That I love you not enough?
Am I even close to close this up after you decided to change your msn and phone number? Every now and then I will 'accidentally' stumble upon your photos here and there and everywhere. Every now and then I will have this regret that I should have not broken up with you in the first place. But what is the regret for since I answered you 'no' continuously, three times in a row? It is unacceptable for me to revoke my own action d, right? Even if I plan to, what will become of us? Set out to destroy each other again? Or we will actually do it right this time, rest if off, grow up and love one another like any other loving couple? Is it possible?
My heart weeps, when the night is late and the sun seems like it will never rise again. I try so hard to sleep it off, and then when I did it it would be at least 5 or 6 in the morning. I will wake up at 4 pm later, watching hopelessly as the sun sets. Night falls again and I am off wandering in circles, again and again and again.
I ought to wake up. Somebody wakes me up. Or, am I actually dreaming? Is this just another magic trick conjured by you? I don't know anymore.
-
I am deeply troubled before, during, and after sleep. Waking up from sweet dreams to reality everyday isn't exactly the way to start a day afresh. I know. I know the situation we're having is killing both of us, at the same time. We keep finding new things to argue over, almost every week. When I am tired, you will sneak into your own rhythm of breakup calls. When you are tired, I suddenly realize we have enough and it's my turn to blow the breakup horns. The cycle is vicious, and it's poisoning us. We torture each other, endlessly, tirelessly, until both of us said: "Let's torture each other until we die."
Until my heart tells me: "Let the torture lives on. It just seemed to be impossible for me to live on without her now." So I set out to find my own enemies in my mind that keep telling me to breakup and call it an end once in for all. I swing my sword in such a perfect manner and grace that I lost myself in the battle. And here I go, I scream at the top of my voice every night and day...and every morning when I wake, I tell myself to repeat the same mistake, over and over and over and over again.
Every night, this time, this hour, this minute, I fall at your feet. Your finger of blame waves around in an erratic motion, and sometimes it will turn upon itself. Then you will start to cry. Your tears rain down on me, like jewels falling from the heaven. And you started to go psycho. You are having illusions, suddenly. You wield your words in a smart and accountable fashion. I believe them. I were worried, and I were happy, and then I were lost. Then there I was, you unveil the seemingly 'understandable' truth that it's just a conjured image of yours. I get furious, I get disappointed and I get angry. And then when the fury recedes, I am back to my role as a dog, bowing to you every minute when you need me to.
I resisted, and I gave up. Every now and then we struggle to get the hold of each other. Existence itself is redefined. We are meant to be. We are meant to exist together while tormenting each other.
Until the hour came that I decided to end it all for good. Am I doing the right thing? Am I actually solving the problem in the right way? I don't know. I love her. I love her with the whole of my heart. I started this call of relationship with good deeds. I keep wondering, why am I on a no man's land while I have so many plans at start that seem to execute perfectly? What are our problems? There are a thousand questions to answer, and none of them I have any clue. You told me, if we love each other enough, then 'torture' itself is actually an enjoyment rather than sadness and burden. But it has been a burden to me. Is it true? That I love you not enough?
Am I even close to close this up after you decided to change your msn and phone number? Every now and then I will 'accidentally' stumble upon your photos here and there and everywhere. Every now and then I will have this regret that I should have not broken up with you in the first place. But what is the regret for since I answered you 'no' continuously, three times in a row? It is unacceptable for me to revoke my own action d, right? Even if I plan to, what will become of us? Set out to destroy each other again? Or we will actually do it right this time, rest if off, grow up and love one another like any other loving couple? Is it possible?
My heart weeps, when the night is late and the sun seems like it will never rise again. I try so hard to sleep it off, and then when I did it it would be at least 5 or 6 in the morning. I will wake up at 4 pm later, watching hopelessly as the sun sets. Night falls again and I am off wandering in circles, again and again and again.
I ought to wake up. Somebody wakes me up. Or, am I actually dreaming? Is this just another magic trick conjured by you? I don't know anymore.
-
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