Engineers

Three things, might be all, might be none, might be both of them or might be one of them:

1) Alcohol;
2) Coffee;
3) Cigarette

Oops. I heard from wei zhi that he had one more: potato chips. lol.

These things are those which accompany most of the engineers and engineers-to-be every night when they are designing and solving problems.

Well, I admit it, it's fun though. It's like burning your life, and you feel contented with it.

Since when those two become my partners in handling problems? Well, haha, it's life. I guess I'm finally becoming one of those adults in the anime or movie or whatsoever, without realising it. Really, I have no intention of trailing those 'typical' habits. But just, it's stress relieving.

Let's burn this night through with beer. Cheers!

Equilibrium

Always it's a question about equilibrium. No matter in structural analysis or studies or relationship.

Another student in my uni committed suicide. It is indeed very sad to see someone took his own life away like that, at a price that no one would be able to bid for. Every student in my uni is excellent. Losing any will cost a great loss to the world, of course.

Well as I am holding a scholarship to study now I understand the stress that guy was undergoing perfectly. It is, indeed, very very very stressful. Especially this semester. Calculations are becoming chaotic, plus I have a LDR to maintain.

Let's see where the path will guide me. Anyhow, I hold on strongly to my beliefs, my efforts and my relationship.

May that be the same with everyone of you out there, my blessed friends. Let's make it through together, all out, but not at the cost of our own lives. Every step of ours counts, so does every breath of ours. Amitabha. Be happy. Be strong. Be confident. Believe, or perish.

KNNABCCB

KNNABCCB!!! CCB!!!!!! TWO MIDDLE FINGERS UP!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCB!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

KNNABCCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNNABCCCCCCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

每一天都是新的练习

今天大扫除，加上第一次成功收到阿甄的歌，又找到也成功地download到了Darker than Black的原声带，虽然书没读多少，可是收获却很大。

一直以来在自己的房间住都有种不自在的感觉，大扫除完后感觉不同了。东西放在那里自己有个分寸，终于有种家的感觉，自己习惯自己存在的所在，也有种安定下来的感觉。

听着阿甄的歌，听着听着自己也跟着旋律泛起了一阵淡淡的伤感。对的，每天都是新的练习，要以今天换走昨天的过去。我的期中考有一科考得他妈的像屎一样，其他的科目在mean之上，但是也是不高不矮，他妈的什么成绩。阿甄说得对，选择了爱情，说怎样情绪上与生活上的调整是一定有的，需要的是我们两个把这些影响控制到怎样的程度而已。

今天是新的开始。好的开始。有一种感觉说我从现在开始会得心应手，也会开始幸运。就算不是，也要酱告诉自己。唯有正面的想法会引导我们走向正面的人生。

Youko Kanno的jazz深深地抓住了我。在她的音乐中我找到感触，random的想法及突然爆发的愁绪与伤感。第一次爱上jazz，不是故意的去听与尝试去喜欢，而是不知不觉地被Darker than black的故事与节奏俘虏去了。说起来，Darker than black是一部陪我走过有一段日子的动画。第一集，我还记得是在SU看的，那时大概深夜三点多吧。莫名其妙的在等死亡笔记的download时发现了这部动画的名字怪有感觉的，就下载了一集来看，一看就喜欢上了。我还有一个深深的印象，那几个我在追Darker than black前几集的晚上我都是在SU的房里，都是在深夜；也是我第一次与阿甄真正聊天而在彼此心目中留下了幽默谈话内容的几晚。Darker than black的故事与其意义，音乐，还有每次在深夜看完后与阿甄的聊天在这近半年以来可以说令到我的生活有了几乎180度的转变：从苦恋到热恋，从孤独奋战到拥有彼此，从旧的梦想到新的里程碑，还有无数生活细节上的改变，一言难尽。

故事的主人翁到最后选择了契约者的能力与正常人的情绪的并存。这个选择是无比的痛苦与残忍的，因为两者一开始就不能并存。这条路一选下去就有无数难以意料的后果。可是主人翁说：我决定了。从今天开始我不再是以前的我了。然后他就隐埋闹市，遁逃尘间。

我何尝不是一样。选择了学业和远距离恋爱。两者一直以来都很少并存的例子，况且自己的学业又非常地不轻松，现在肩上又负上了一个重担，随时会吃不过力来。

在Youko Kanno的音乐里游思的刹那，我慢慢的进入了‘黑‘的世界。一段时间后恍然，轻轻地告诉自己：从今天开始我不再是以前的我了。

你可以选择不叫我义龙，我真的不怎么理会。我现在的存在是一种全然的蜕新。我的生活是全然另一套法则了。

每一天都是新的练习，锻炼自己，建立新的人生与世界。我是否与'黑‘一样会走到尽头，那得靠自己的斗志了。当然，还有不断地相信自己的运气常伴身旁。相信。

曾几何时我也变成了契约者了。好，契约者有的就是理智。