In Hong Kong, I think there's always this sense of hype in the air. At first you won't see it. You can't even notice its presence. Not even when it catches you in its net. Honkies live by it. Honkies have no clue bout it too.
It's the vibes that make the whole city deserted. Deserted of culture, and the sense of belong and coziness.
In this city, people bump into one another all the time. Simple. It's because there's no way that you can walk straight in a street, unless you are in the New Territories. In Hong Kong, if you keep quiet more than 5 minutes in a one-to-one conversation, that Honkie will think that you are just a nobody who can't compete at all. All right, I might as well list the hidden principles behind the huge concrete jungle I am living in now:-
1) To live as a true Honkie, you must be super fluent in Cantonese but that is not enough. The real element is 'keep talking'. Yes you get me. If you can put on an individual talkshow for more than 2 hours alone you are an amateur. A professional can do it for 8 hours. Believe it or not. I had myself a few occasions bumped into amateur Honkies who just can't stop bragging. The whole process, I can't even have the chance to speak a word. Or rather, I don't feel like spelling an 'A' also.
2) You must unlearn whatever you know of outside Hong Kong. You read Jane Austen? C'mon...people in Hong Kong read about their movie stars' ugly news, not some simple and uncanny stuff like 'Pride and Prejudice'. Talk to one of them about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I am sure nobody even cares about what you are talking about. How pathetic you are. (well I mention George Orwell, Haruki Murakami in my office a few times too, even to my classmates...guess what...nobody knows and nobody cares).
3) You must know every single game that comes from Japan. And yes, every single jap line that the character says as well. Coz, guess what, they will keep teasing each other with those stuff no matter where...be it at work or in university. And of course, you must know how to game too.
4) You must know how to complain. Complaining is a fashionable trend in Hong Kong. Everywhere you go, if you have any beh syiok, just complain till you feel satisfied. Trust me, these Honkies are great at complaining. It is a city of complaints. No matter how good the government is.
5) You must know how to think that a person who is listening to you 'lecturing' doesn't know a shit what you are talking bout. For example, this girl laughed at a Malaysian saying: Oh, of course you dunno wat a frog is...you never even seen one...And that Malaysian goes: Errrrrrr...I think I even catch one before. Honkie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IMPOSSIBLE!
6) You must know how to talk on phone all the while. I mean it. Toilet, during breaks, lunch, dinner, waiting for bus, on the mtr, while you are dating your girl/guy...etc. On all those occasion, would you please, take out your mobile phone and call someone up? Thank you.
7) You must be hypersensitive. Anything that comes across you, you must react three times the effect back. For example, the bus driver said to you: Hey you! You haven't paid yet!...Ok, here's what you shud do. You stand in the doorway of the bus, blocking all the other customers, and then you started grumbling, protesting and shouting until every single soul around you got totally hyped up enough to join you.
8) Know how to be a couch potato and keep talking at the same time.
9) Know how to discriminate everyone other than true Honkies.
I can't list them all. Let's discuss a bit of the effects of those 9 rules on me. Because of rule no. 1, 无线, the Hong Kong biggest broadcasting studio, had all of its commentators (8 to 9 of them) who are responsible in commentaries of the live Olympic events talk at the same time and......non-stop. It's so fucking annoying and noisy. Well, take this to another level...imagine you are living with these people around you everyday.
Because of no. 2, I feel so sad. I even had a lot of people laughing at me because I read 'Wuthering Heights' or 'Hamlet'. My goodness. And I am no gamer. Especially those Gundam shit that Honkies enjoy playing so much.
I seldom complain. And I got a lot of 'professional' Honkies thinking that I am a dumb fool because I am supposed to not know about 'frog', 'company auditing' and a lot more that I happen to forget at this moment. My God. I guess none of you who read this post knows how to react to Honkies too, right?
And yes, you have to pray to God for a healthy body if you believe that radiowave will cause cancer. These honkies talk on phone non-stop. Unbelievable!
Sighz. So, convince me, do I have to believe that Hong Kong will be the internationally acclaimed leading city of China? Nope I don't think so. Beijing people are far better. At least Chinese Malaysians are way better too.
Pathetic Hong Kong. Pathetic Honkies.
P/S: A quote from Crash: I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.
It's the vibes that make the whole city deserted. Deserted of culture, and the sense of belong and coziness.
In this city, people bump into one another all the time. Simple. It's because there's no way that you can walk straight in a street, unless you are in the New Territories. In Hong Kong, if you keep quiet more than 5 minutes in a one-to-one conversation, that Honkie will think that you are just a nobody who can't compete at all. All right, I might as well list the hidden principles behind the huge concrete jungle I am living in now:-
1) To live as a true Honkie, you must be super fluent in Cantonese but that is not enough. The real element is 'keep talking'. Yes you get me. If you can put on an individual talkshow for more than 2 hours alone you are an amateur. A professional can do it for 8 hours. Believe it or not. I had myself a few occasions bumped into amateur Honkies who just can't stop bragging. The whole process, I can't even have the chance to speak a word. Or rather, I don't feel like spelling an 'A' also.
2) You must unlearn whatever you know of outside Hong Kong. You read Jane Austen? C'mon...people in Hong Kong read about their movie stars' ugly news, not some simple and uncanny stuff like 'Pride and Prejudice'. Talk to one of them about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I am sure nobody even cares about what you are talking about. How pathetic you are. (well I mention George Orwell, Haruki Murakami in my office a few times too, even to my classmates...guess what...nobody knows and nobody cares).
3) You must know every single game that comes from Japan. And yes, every single jap line that the character says as well. Coz, guess what, they will keep teasing each other with those stuff no matter where...be it at work or in university. And of course, you must know how to game too.
4) You must know how to complain. Complaining is a fashionable trend in Hong Kong. Everywhere you go, if you have any beh syiok, just complain till you feel satisfied. Trust me, these Honkies are great at complaining. It is a city of complaints. No matter how good the government is.
5) You must know how to think that a person who is listening to you 'lecturing' doesn't know a shit what you are talking bout. For example, this girl laughed at a Malaysian saying: Oh, of course you dunno wat a frog is...you never even seen one...And that Malaysian goes: Errrrrrr...I think I even catch one before. Honkie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IMPOSSIBLE!
6) You must know how to talk on phone all the while. I mean it. Toilet, during breaks, lunch, dinner, waiting for bus, on the mtr, while you are dating your girl/guy...etc. On all those occasion, would you please, take out your mobile phone and call someone up? Thank you.
7) You must be hypersensitive. Anything that comes across you, you must react three times the effect back. For example, the bus driver said to you: Hey you! You haven't paid yet!...Ok, here's what you shud do. You stand in the doorway of the bus, blocking all the other customers, and then you started grumbling, protesting and shouting until every single soul around you got totally hyped up enough to join you.
8) Know how to be a couch potato and keep talking at the same time.
9) Know how to discriminate everyone other than true Honkies.
I can't list them all. Let's discuss a bit of the effects of those 9 rules on me. Because of rule no. 1, 无线, the Hong Kong biggest broadcasting studio, had all of its commentators (8 to 9 of them) who are responsible in commentaries of the live Olympic events talk at the same time and......non-stop. It's so fucking annoying and noisy. Well, take this to another level...imagine you are living with these people around you everyday.
Because of no. 2, I feel so sad. I even had a lot of people laughing at me because I read 'Wuthering Heights' or 'Hamlet'. My goodness. And I am no gamer. Especially those Gundam shit that Honkies enjoy playing so much.
I seldom complain. And I got a lot of 'professional' Honkies thinking that I am a dumb fool because I am supposed to not know about 'frog', 'company auditing' and a lot more that I happen to forget at this moment. My God. I guess none of you who read this post knows how to react to Honkies too, right?
And yes, you have to pray to God for a healthy body if you believe that radiowave will cause cancer. These honkies talk on phone non-stop. Unbelievable!
Sighz. So, convince me, do I have to believe that Hong Kong will be the internationally acclaimed leading city of China? Nope I don't think so. Beijing people are far better. At least Chinese Malaysians are way better too.
Pathetic Hong Kong. Pathetic Honkies.
P/S: A quote from Crash: I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.
1 comment:
lol looks like hk is the opposite of japan...in japan every1 is so quiet n no 1 complains (they rarely hv to, anyway)....on the other hand, sumtimes u get the feeling dat ppl here r rather cold cuz they dun seem 2 show any concern 4 other ppl
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