I was bathing syiokly...and when i got out from my bathroom, i found out sth sticking on my bird...and when i revealed my towel to look at it...OMG IT'S A TAG!!! GUESS WHO PASTE THAT ON IT!!! IT'S A FAT FISH!!! *FAINT*
-The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
-Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
-Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
-If you are tagged the second time.There is NO need to do this again.
-Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT!! ^^
1. gender of perfect lover of coz girl...(refer to my gay & best fren post...sure know my opinions d =P)
2. my requirements are very low when i come to realize a lot of things lately...the main characteristics i seek for is: maturity, kindness, tolerance
3. i dun care about looks...once i fall in love with the person, even she kena burned, scratched, distorted i will still love her, as long as her characters don't change
4. able to bear ups and downs in life with me without getting too hysterical/hyper/losing her head over sth very happy or utmostly sad
5. I love cooking...and starting to learn cooking oso. I wish my perfect lover would let me do the cooking and HELP me out when i m cooking then ok d. =P
6. healthy lifestyle...such as haf regular exercises and know how to control her meals in healthy manner (not trying to keep a deadly/unagreeable diet or eating to achieve obesity)
7. frank communication...when it comes to quarrel or breakdown i will tell her what i truly feel, and i hope she did the same. after the dispute i will cool everything down and try to change myself surely. but if no frank communication happened during that moment, i will be very beh syiok...and it will build my anger up.
8. erm...critism is acceptable, as long as it's loving. one thing is, i sometimes need my time by myself. leave me alone when i say that i need to be alone.
9. I accept all religions but STRICTLY NO MUSLIMS.there're tonnes of good qualities ppl who are non-muslims.STRICTLY STRICTLY NO MUSLIMS.
hehe...whose bird/groin shall i tag...
1. wei zhi the alabai's bird
2. shao thing the tulan's bird
3. samuel loh howe chuan!!!
4. XINCI!!
5. UNCLE THEAM!!!
6. amoi/bak kim/bak kim bak/black king bar
7. EE LIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8. CHUAN WEI!!!!!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
The Typical Penang Driver (Extreme Version)
I was on my freaking fast way to Lye Peng Travel Agency (Penang Road there…) to retrieve my passport after my China visa was ready on Friday…I drove with maximum speed I could on the road becoz a ping hwa fren going with us to HK said she gonna wait for me…but when half way to there, I wanna make a call…eh?? My hp leh????????? HOLY SHIT!!! Dun tell me I din bring it???? I went insane instantly and drove with double the speed back to my house, on the way back kena blocked by a lot fxxking school buses and desperate parents who forced their way to the side lane of ping hwa to park. I was so desperate then, and on the way back I honked god-knows how many times.
Finally I was home. I jumped down from my car after performing a drift-parking. (the tyres screeched in protest!!!) I went into my house, searched for my hp in every nook and cranny until my moh chang (hokkien, means hair all stands up in agony) but still cant find my hp…so in the end I decided to let it be. But when I hopped in my car, eh, why my hp is there at the corner of the passenger seat?? AHHH!!! IT MUST HAD SLIDED DOWN WHEN I DROVE!! HELL!!!! I punched my steering hard…God, I wasted 20 mins just like that!!
With three times the speed I stepped on the oil pedal and zoomed my old Datsun’s speed to 60 miles per hour towards Penang road…on the way to there, I thought ‘intelligently’ to myself that maybe I could avoid the ping hwa traffic by mere shortcuts ppl dunno…well, I succeeded mostly, until I chose the wrong road…the one leading to pulau tikus police station from the Bandar Baru supermarket road (I dunno what it is called…I hope u guys understand it)…Once I picked that road I knew I was gone case d…coz the traffic lights there are notorious for its ‘late-comings’ and short duration of green light. BUT THAT WAS NOT ALL. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, surely! There was one freaking ang mor who was driving a big fat stupid mercedez benz, and she seemed not to know that road is meant for two lanes…one going straight to new gurney drive/turn left to One-stop and the other one turning right to the pulau tikus police station. (get to know it’s a female ang mor…coz I planned to show that driver the international symbol when I drove past the car...but in the end din do it). Well, I dunno it at start…but when cars from my behind starting to take over me and the cars in front using the wrong side of the road, I went frustrated. MY GOD, I WAS WAITING ETHICALLY AND U GUYS JUST DO THAT??? I was so tulan that I push my car so close to the back of the car in front to prevent a freaking proton saga to slit in. To voice my anger, I honked four times when that saga attempted to slit in by force and I scowled at the female Chinese driver. At that time the whole road went chaos. It was due to the proton saga was on the wrong side of the road, blocking every car coming down on the right. The whole traffic there just stucked and the other few cars which attempted to follow the proton saga’s example were stucked too behind, on the wrong side of the road too. I really boh chap siao…the proton saga driver oso not brave enuff to honk me. “It’s okay…” I said to myself. “it will clear up when the lights go green”
But hell, it din clear up!! Why?? Because now I found out there’s that freaking big fat mercedez not moving at all!!! That freaking ang mor who was so…..polite??? she just let every car coming from a small lane on the left from the dunno-what-it-is-called residential area (ah yeah, chuan wei lives there!!) into our road, which in turn we’re not moving, and the latecomers from the small lane got to enjoy the green light!!! And to my horror, the cars just couldn’t stop pouring out…they are………UNSTOPPABLE!!! The proton saga on my right finally got a chance when the cars coming down on the right reversed a lil to let her through……..GUESS WHERE’S SHE’S GOING?? My goodness she turns left to the small lane!!!! MY GOD!!! It was just so unethical of her!!! And for the next 5 minutes everything is chaos again…now the cars are moving…but it’s the cars from the small lane…moving to our rightful lanes because of that freaking mercedez, and cars from the small lane which turn right into the lane on my right get to move because the cars coming down from the right lane were all stucked by another trying-shortcut-by-driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-roads cars. It was too…..=.=||||||| therefore in the end I decided to join the race for the green light contest. I immediately reversed my car and drove my car to the wrong side of the road, forcing every car coming out from the small lane to stop, and then I saw the ang mor in the mercedez whom I planned to show the international sign to. Had it been a local I would have done that for sure! But I din…coz it’s ang mor…she din know a thing bout ‘politeness’ in penang drivers.
After owning my rightful turn and leaving every cars stucking behind me to clear up their own mess, I drove smoothly to Penang road without much troubles. After retrieving my passport, I went to my parking lot (I parked on the left side of the road, where there are yellow boxes for cars to park) to go home. I turned my head back to look at the cars traveling past me, finding a gap for me to join the traffic (there’s no worries for cars in front coz there’s no way a car could appear in front for I am on the left side of the road, and there are no roads for cars to come out from). My feet were ready on the clutch, brake and oil pedal, ready to move when I found a gap. But suddenly I braked in horror because my head turned back in time to spot a motorcyclist driving towards me. WHAT THE HECK??? HE’S ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!!! And that freaking motorcyclist is a ah pek summore, and he came out of nowhere!!! I was so shocked that I din even honk. The ah pek din even notice the dangers he had just undergone!!!
What a day for me as the typical Penang driver…just that all that I messed up with were extreme cases!!! Frightful ones but I escaped unscathed in the end too. Next time I gotta be more hiong d. In Penang, drivers who dun follow the rules haf the big say. It’s all about being hiong.
Finally I was home. I jumped down from my car after performing a drift-parking. (the tyres screeched in protest!!!) I went into my house, searched for my hp in every nook and cranny until my moh chang (hokkien, means hair all stands up in agony) but still cant find my hp…so in the end I decided to let it be. But when I hopped in my car, eh, why my hp is there at the corner of the passenger seat?? AHHH!!! IT MUST HAD SLIDED DOWN WHEN I DROVE!! HELL!!!! I punched my steering hard…God, I wasted 20 mins just like that!!
With three times the speed I stepped on the oil pedal and zoomed my old Datsun’s speed to 60 miles per hour towards Penang road…on the way to there, I thought ‘intelligently’ to myself that maybe I could avoid the ping hwa traffic by mere shortcuts ppl dunno…well, I succeeded mostly, until I chose the wrong road…the one leading to pulau tikus police station from the Bandar Baru supermarket road (I dunno what it is called…I hope u guys understand it)…Once I picked that road I knew I was gone case d…coz the traffic lights there are notorious for its ‘late-comings’ and short duration of green light. BUT THAT WAS NOT ALL. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, surely! There was one freaking ang mor who was driving a big fat stupid mercedez benz, and she seemed not to know that road is meant for two lanes…one going straight to new gurney drive/turn left to One-stop and the other one turning right to the pulau tikus police station. (get to know it’s a female ang mor…coz I planned to show that driver the international symbol when I drove past the car...but in the end din do it). Well, I dunno it at start…but when cars from my behind starting to take over me and the cars in front using the wrong side of the road, I went frustrated. MY GOD, I WAS WAITING ETHICALLY AND U GUYS JUST DO THAT??? I was so tulan that I push my car so close to the back of the car in front to prevent a freaking proton saga to slit in. To voice my anger, I honked four times when that saga attempted to slit in by force and I scowled at the female Chinese driver. At that time the whole road went chaos. It was due to the proton saga was on the wrong side of the road, blocking every car coming down on the right. The whole traffic there just stucked and the other few cars which attempted to follow the proton saga’s example were stucked too behind, on the wrong side of the road too. I really boh chap siao…the proton saga driver oso not brave enuff to honk me. “It’s okay…” I said to myself. “it will clear up when the lights go green”
But hell, it din clear up!! Why?? Because now I found out there’s that freaking big fat mercedez not moving at all!!! That freaking ang mor who was so…..polite??? she just let every car coming from a small lane on the left from the dunno-what-it-is-called residential area (ah yeah, chuan wei lives there!!) into our road, which in turn we’re not moving, and the latecomers from the small lane got to enjoy the green light!!! And to my horror, the cars just couldn’t stop pouring out…they are………UNSTOPPABLE!!! The proton saga on my right finally got a chance when the cars coming down on the right reversed a lil to let her through……..GUESS WHERE’S SHE’S GOING?? My goodness she turns left to the small lane!!!! MY GOD!!! It was just so unethical of her!!! And for the next 5 minutes everything is chaos again…now the cars are moving…but it’s the cars from the small lane…moving to our rightful lanes because of that freaking mercedez, and cars from the small lane which turn right into the lane on my right get to move because the cars coming down from the right lane were all stucked by another trying-shortcut-by-driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-roads cars. It was too…..=.=||||||| therefore in the end I decided to join the race for the green light contest. I immediately reversed my car and drove my car to the wrong side of the road, forcing every car coming out from the small lane to stop, and then I saw the ang mor in the mercedez whom I planned to show the international sign to. Had it been a local I would have done that for sure! But I din…coz it’s ang mor…she din know a thing bout ‘politeness’ in penang drivers.
After owning my rightful turn and leaving every cars stucking behind me to clear up their own mess, I drove smoothly to Penang road without much troubles. After retrieving my passport, I went to my parking lot (I parked on the left side of the road, where there are yellow boxes for cars to park) to go home. I turned my head back to look at the cars traveling past me, finding a gap for me to join the traffic (there’s no worries for cars in front coz there’s no way a car could appear in front for I am on the left side of the road, and there are no roads for cars to come out from). My feet were ready on the clutch, brake and oil pedal, ready to move when I found a gap. But suddenly I braked in horror because my head turned back in time to spot a motorcyclist driving towards me. WHAT THE HECK??? HE’S ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!!! And that freaking motorcyclist is a ah pek summore, and he came out of nowhere!!! I was so shocked that I din even honk. The ah pek din even notice the dangers he had just undergone!!!
What a day for me as the typical Penang driver…just that all that I messed up with were extreme cases!!! Frightful ones but I escaped unscathed in the end too. Next time I gotta be more hiong d. In Penang, drivers who dun follow the rules haf the big say. It’s all about being hiong.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
The Undeniable Truth
I never wanted to write this. I knew it won’t come to me in any form of sensible notion but still the intuition drives me. It drives me hard, it infatuates me and it eats me from the inside every day and every minute I am breathing. I hope one day I will be released from this hell but I have been trying for two years. *deep sigh* I am still here. I tried to look at other girls but never once my heart could sway, not even a slight twitch of muscles. Therefore I guess if I didn’t write this I will soon become a pathetic soul encompassed by wild torments and anguish.
Long before I realize it was coming to me, I mean the gush of passions of love, it delved deep, residing silently. I would have guessed that will be the cherish of a lively sparkling chemistry of life, but then it seemed not to be.
After a few long chats with my best friend, acquiring advices and philosophies (impromptu? Lolz…) finally it came to me that I am a coward in the vocabulary of love. I am afraid to confess, I am afraid to ask something I really wanted to know, I am afraid to speak my true feelings…I am afraid to…I am afraid to…and I am afraid to!! God you name it. I feel the inferiority is infesting deep inside me, and it is disemboweling my organs which detect any sense of life in me. She is the one, it’s a truthful yes for me after I confirmed it two years ago when I met her, but then the fact which ‘I am not the one in her mind’ is topping over me, even for my situation now seems to be delightful and with hopes to my friends, this predicament/statement/fact/hypothesis is still superior over anything else. Or you speak as it suits, over everything. My heart aches with every thought of her and it aches even more when I struggle to get the very thought of my mind. It has lasted two years…I thought it would have stopped after I aborted the attempt of casting off my troubles by jumping off the train from KL last November (or December? I could barely remember). I hit my heart in the chest hard: “Mate, it’s time to stop thinking bout her”. It felt no pain. But only till now I realize the pain is still living inside me, just that it is kept aside from my thoughts. I think, after all, the very pain has become one of those subconscious vital signs in my life. It has become something like breathing and heartbeats, uncontrollable by the means of conscious minds.
Finally I come to understand why Dan could possibly love a girl for a time so long (10 years…or 9 years ++??) without falling for the others. He just couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I tried but I can’t. It’s like, everybody is telling us to think bout the reality, the real life, the future, the career, the jobs, the xxxx, the yyyy, the zzzz and till in the end it is nothing merely other than strong distress. I wanted to give her something, something I could which would serve to secure her life, and I would have given everything I have. But the age gap is there. I think a lot and I don’t think I am thinking too much. The problem still comes to the root of all roots: Will she accept it? Will she have any affection towards me? These questions trouble me so much until in the end I decided to give every single thing I have and not taking any. There I go, my friends, I am being eaten by the devil inside slowly. The grief and regrets inside build up every single day. I am helpless with myself. I have lots to give but I can’t because I am coward who couldn’t confess nor ask how she feels. I am a coward after all, ain’t it true? *deep deep sigh*
(Yellowcard – Gifts & Curses)
Mary belongs to the words of a song.
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.
(She is the one), but I have a purpose,
(she is the one), and I have to fight this,
(she is the one), a villian I can't knock down.
I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.
Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?
(She is the one), all that I wanted,
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.
I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
Still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you ...
Above is the lyrics of a song which has accompanied my pain and sorrow all along. Yeah you bet it…it’s one of the songs written for the movie Spiderman 2. I am as pathetic as Peter Parker (spiderman). I failed to confess because I am a coward but still, every strife and hardships I am going through now or I had gone through in the past, she’s the person in my mind that I fight on with. I see her face with every punch I take…and every bone I break, it’s all for her.
Ya, my worst pains are words I cannot say, but still, I will always fight on for her. That, I believe, is the undeniable truth which I have been trying to deny for two years, and even now when I am writing this post.
Long before I realize it was coming to me, I mean the gush of passions of love, it delved deep, residing silently. I would have guessed that will be the cherish of a lively sparkling chemistry of life, but then it seemed not to be.
After a few long chats with my best friend, acquiring advices and philosophies (impromptu? Lolz…) finally it came to me that I am a coward in the vocabulary of love. I am afraid to confess, I am afraid to ask something I really wanted to know, I am afraid to speak my true feelings…I am afraid to…I am afraid to…and I am afraid to!! God you name it. I feel the inferiority is infesting deep inside me, and it is disemboweling my organs which detect any sense of life in me. She is the one, it’s a truthful yes for me after I confirmed it two years ago when I met her, but then the fact which ‘I am not the one in her mind’ is topping over me, even for my situation now seems to be delightful and with hopes to my friends, this predicament/statement/fact/hypothesis is still superior over anything else. Or you speak as it suits, over everything. My heart aches with every thought of her and it aches even more when I struggle to get the very thought of my mind. It has lasted two years…I thought it would have stopped after I aborted the attempt of casting off my troubles by jumping off the train from KL last November (or December? I could barely remember). I hit my heart in the chest hard: “Mate, it’s time to stop thinking bout her”. It felt no pain. But only till now I realize the pain is still living inside me, just that it is kept aside from my thoughts. I think, after all, the very pain has become one of those subconscious vital signs in my life. It has become something like breathing and heartbeats, uncontrollable by the means of conscious minds.
Finally I come to understand why Dan could possibly love a girl for a time so long (10 years…or 9 years ++??) without falling for the others. He just couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I tried but I can’t. It’s like, everybody is telling us to think bout the reality, the real life, the future, the career, the jobs, the xxxx, the yyyy, the zzzz and till in the end it is nothing merely other than strong distress. I wanted to give her something, something I could which would serve to secure her life, and I would have given everything I have. But the age gap is there. I think a lot and I don’t think I am thinking too much. The problem still comes to the root of all roots: Will she accept it? Will she have any affection towards me? These questions trouble me so much until in the end I decided to give every single thing I have and not taking any. There I go, my friends, I am being eaten by the devil inside slowly. The grief and regrets inside build up every single day. I am helpless with myself. I have lots to give but I can’t because I am coward who couldn’t confess nor ask how she feels. I am a coward after all, ain’t it true? *deep deep sigh*
(Yellowcard – Gifts & Curses)
Mary belongs to the words of a song.
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.
(She is the one), but I have a purpose,
(she is the one), and I have to fight this,
(she is the one), a villian I can't knock down.
I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.
Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?
(She is the one), all that I wanted,
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.
I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
Still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you ...
Above is the lyrics of a song which has accompanied my pain and sorrow all along. Yeah you bet it…it’s one of the songs written for the movie Spiderman 2. I am as pathetic as Peter Parker (spiderman). I failed to confess because I am a coward but still, every strife and hardships I am going through now or I had gone through in the past, she’s the person in my mind that I fight on with. I see her face with every punch I take…and every bone I break, it’s all for her.
Ya, my worst pains are words I cannot say, but still, I will always fight on for her. That, I believe, is the undeniable truth which I have been trying to deny for two years, and even now when I am writing this post.
Friday, June 09, 2006
It's About The Concept Called Time
Hola guys…now back to update my blog on my private stuffs ;-)
I had been in KL from 28th May till 1st June, and I got back to Penang on the 2nd June bus. Well, u guys wont believe it…the bookfest is GRAND!! 5 big halls of KL Convention Center are allocated just to exhibit the books!! There’s one conference hall in level 3 is specially rented for the purpose of holding the talks of famous authors from hk, Taiwan, china and Malaysia like: 陶杰，戴晨志，安焕然，蔡志礼，李昂，柴松林，黎紫书，傅承得…and countless famous people from other fields such as real estate, toastmaster, cultural profession and a lot more…well, all those talks really taught me a lot of stuffs, and I think in the future those knowledge I acquire from their experienced talks will surely put to use some day. And I bought 7 books…plus caryn borrowed me 3 books, and I still got 6 books at home to read...so in total I hafta finish 16 books in one month before going HK!!!!!!!!!! OMG……………………!!!!!!! LOLZ….
Talking bout KL, that day I was in KL caryn wanna borrow me books but because of sleeping late and eating lunch, I was late…therefore I rushed like hell to the nearest Pasar Seni LRT station…I was so shit fast that I ran the whole way and at that time the LRT arrived!!!!!!!! I was so goddamn lucky, I told myself. Therefore I ran up the stairs and board the LRT, thinking that how am I gonna get rid of the sweats when arriving in KLCC. But wait a second…..why the LRT is moving to KL sentral instead of KLCC??? OMFG!!!!!! At that time I realized I board the wrong side of the LRT!!!!! *sigh* It took me more time to reach KLCC in the end coz hafta come down from the station of KL sentral and board the opposite side of the LRT…lolz
For you guys’ info, I gonna go HK on the 10th july plane…..but still everything hasn’t been done yet…..the packing-up lar and a lot of stuffs. Lolz. Will slowly settle it…dun worry!!! Btw these few days ur fren here is very happy…coz what I dreamed of in lower six and upper six now finally come true….sometimes I was wondering, things in life really change drastically…we could be sad in the past but happy and resolved now…last November when boarding the KTM train from KL to Penang I thought of jumping it because my heart was too damn hurt and torn apart. The pain was like the thorns of cacti, jabbing me now and then when I am least expecting it excruciatingly rip my flesh off, even in my dreams everything seemed to be so dark and evil. But now, something amiss has been mended and I think I am happy that I did not jump off the train that time. Therefore I would like to advise everyone who reads my blog…dun think too much about killing yourself…..things might be desperate and cannot be solved at that time u wanna die, but if u carry on ur life, u will see it solved in the end too…nothing is big and worth dying for. Life is life, and others still live on even you die too. You must live on to see what you are meant to do on this earth before killing yourself. The meaning of existence on this earth is never explained. Find it in your heart. It is always residing there. Don’t die if you still could not find it. Trust me. Live on, is what I say, my friends. It’s the concept called time.
I had been in KL from 28th May till 1st June, and I got back to Penang on the 2nd June bus. Well, u guys wont believe it…the bookfest is GRAND!! 5 big halls of KL Convention Center are allocated just to exhibit the books!! There’s one conference hall in level 3 is specially rented for the purpose of holding the talks of famous authors from hk, Taiwan, china and Malaysia like: 陶杰，戴晨志，安焕然，蔡志礼，李昂，柴松林，黎紫书，傅承得…and countless famous people from other fields such as real estate, toastmaster, cultural profession and a lot more…well, all those talks really taught me a lot of stuffs, and I think in the future those knowledge I acquire from their experienced talks will surely put to use some day. And I bought 7 books…plus caryn borrowed me 3 books, and I still got 6 books at home to read...so in total I hafta finish 16 books in one month before going HK!!!!!!!!!! OMG……………………!!!!!!! LOLZ….
Talking bout KL, that day I was in KL caryn wanna borrow me books but because of sleeping late and eating lunch, I was late…therefore I rushed like hell to the nearest Pasar Seni LRT station…I was so shit fast that I ran the whole way and at that time the LRT arrived!!!!!!!! I was so goddamn lucky, I told myself. Therefore I ran up the stairs and board the LRT, thinking that how am I gonna get rid of the sweats when arriving in KLCC. But wait a second…..why the LRT is moving to KL sentral instead of KLCC??? OMFG!!!!!! At that time I realized I board the wrong side of the LRT!!!!! *sigh* It took me more time to reach KLCC in the end coz hafta come down from the station of KL sentral and board the opposite side of the LRT…lolz
For you guys’ info, I gonna go HK on the 10th july plane…..but still everything hasn’t been done yet…..the packing-up lar and a lot of stuffs. Lolz. Will slowly settle it…dun worry!!! Btw these few days ur fren here is very happy…coz what I dreamed of in lower six and upper six now finally come true….sometimes I was wondering, things in life really change drastically…we could be sad in the past but happy and resolved now…last November when boarding the KTM train from KL to Penang I thought of jumping it because my heart was too damn hurt and torn apart. The pain was like the thorns of cacti, jabbing me now and then when I am least expecting it excruciatingly rip my flesh off, even in my dreams everything seemed to be so dark and evil. But now, something amiss has been mended and I think I am happy that I did not jump off the train that time. Therefore I would like to advise everyone who reads my blog…dun think too much about killing yourself…..things might be desperate and cannot be solved at that time u wanna die, but if u carry on ur life, u will see it solved in the end too…nothing is big and worth dying for. Life is life, and others still live on even you die too. You must live on to see what you are meant to do on this earth before killing yourself. The meaning of existence on this earth is never explained. Find it in your heart. It is always residing there. Don’t die if you still could not find it. Trust me. Live on, is what I say, my friends. It’s the concept called time.
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