Bird’s Birdy Forum Part I

Topic: The Difference Of Gay/Lesbian and Best Frens…The Male and Female Dilemma

I have been drenching and thoroughly immersed in my own thoughts ever since I read an ‘ancient’ blog post of Wei Zhi (Holy-days-The Path of the Slack Guru, posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005) and a comment by Jiah Ling which printed: “y is it that when 2 guys watch a movie it's gay but when 2 gals go out for a movie it's not?!!?? weird....” (first comment under the blog title as mentioned above, fourth paragraph)…Ignoring the misdemeanour of the ‘careless comment’ posted by Jiah Ling at first, thinking that she’s rather injudicious and tactless (or rather sleepy??) while she’s writing that, after some time it struck me in a twinkling: Would it be possible that both genders have different interpretation of gay/lesbian and best friends?

Therefore after confining myself to readings and contemplation for about a week, I think I have rigorously found the indistinct line of how male and female separate gay/lesbian and best friends both from the official and unofficial manners. Of course, it’s my own point of view, therefore I post this in order to refine it by receiving comments from you all considering this topic.

Official Manners:

Holding Hands

To the girls, to hold the hand of another girl means to establish a bond and trust in her, therefore it is an honour, leading to secrets sharing and sisterhood. It is merely an understandable ritual between both girls who are ready for the term ‘best friends of a lifetime’.

To the guys, to hold the hand of a girl means that after so much strife and hardships we finally are able to entrust our own feelings to that girl, and therefore take the lead of steering the girl’s living into the zone we name ‘love and security’. (this statement does not include ‘playboys’) Therefore, to guys, holding the hand of another guy in a way clashes with our predominant principle of the official ‘hold hands’ meaning and atmosphere. To guys, everything is simple enough and only has one definition. Therefore to hold hands = gay.

Watching movie

To the girls, watching movie alone with another girl is no big deal. To watch movie is to watch movie…where is there to worry about? They are there to enjoy the storyline and the romance of the production…so what?

To the guys…..NO NO NO. Watching movies is a pre-arranged and well-planned notion to get close with the girls we admire or wish to flirt with. Of course, watching movies with a gang of guys is a normal outing activity with no special intentions at all. But if it’s down to watching movie alone with another guy, the first thought came into our mind (even that is our best friend) is: OMG OMG, I am not gonna flirt with this guy, ain’t i??

Sharing the Same Ice-cream

To the girls, guy’s saliva may be disgusting but saliva of the same sex seems not to be that threatening after all. Best friends sharing the same ice-cream? Argh, nvm lar of coz!!! Nothing much right?

To the guys, girl’s saliva is a precious, while guy’s saliva is totally…TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!!! To us, sharing saliva with the girl we are in relationship is an unspoken excitement, depicting further acceptance of our love from the girls, or in flirtatious mood, something to be proud of. THIS FEELING TOTALLY SHATTERS WHEN WE WERE TO SHARE ANOTHER GUY’S SALIVA!!! Told you!!! Guys’ way of thinking is straight forward and one-way-street! Everything is simple enough!!! We don’t accept another definition for that!! Those guys who did, they are GAY~~~!!!!

Verbal Expressions

To the girls, being each other’s best friends means to care for the other, and to be there for her all the while, helping each other to get through aught and everything no matter it’s a minor problem or a major catastrophe. Therefore a girl could say this without any doubt to her female best friend: “I will care and be there for you no matter what!” without arousing any sudden glares or scowls.

To the guys, being each other’s best friends means to die trying to help the other out WHEN HE IS IN DEEP SHIT. If you boh-suu-boh-eiao (hokkien, meaning nothing to do) go and say this “I will care and be there for you no matter what!” to our best friend when everything is tranquil and peaceful, both of us will definitely feel very awkward, strange and GAY!

Unofficial Manners:

Distance between Best Friends when Sitting Next to Each Other

To the girls, being best friends is something affectionate and definitely worth cherish for! Therefore female best friends will choose to sit closely to each other, closer = the better friends and tighter the bond.

To the guys, there’s only girls whom we would like to sit closely with…for best friends? We will keep a safe and understandable distance between each other even when we were alone and to talk about secrets + sharing opinions of life. SITTING THAT CLOSE??? OMG THAT’S GAY!

Hugging

To the girls, female best friends hugging each other while walking together from any and every angles work just fine…it’s affectionate, and it’s warm and it’s caring.

To the guys, best friends hugging each other? Well, see where are you hugging! Male best friends often hug each other by the shoulder while walking…if they hug each other by the waist, OMG, THAT’S GAY! It’s because we use to hug a girl by the waist…it too, depicts that ‘this girl is mine now’ sort of ego. Girls, if a guy hugs you by the shoulder, BEWARE! Guys, if a guy hugs you by the waist, you knew it……IT’S GAY!!!


Well, from both official and unofficial manners, guys and girls differ much…it’s because guys are built simple and with ego! Well, I hope the girls could give me different approaches to this topic…I could have thought the wrong way the girls did in those ‘To the girls….” section….so please correct me and discuss with me in the comments section freely!!

WARNING: The above statements, especially the ‘To the guys…’ section does not include playboys, player and that sort of. It’s the same in the ‘To the girls…’ section.

The Ultimate 'Communication' Master -----> GLO

Wah today is so gy......u guys used to know that i teach tuition right? and today i stayed back after teaching them for a while, just for the purpose of talking bullshit.

Well, i bullshited a lot to them...lemme describe it...:

the fat gal, form 4, of my class (my class only consisted of three students) was asked by her grandma to drink sum 鸡精 before her exam...(pcghs exam is around the corner...) n she refused coz she said 鸡精 is very hot and not suitable for the body...well, very gai coz she went and asked me what is 鸡精 made of...then the bullshitting commences!!! I said, well, 鸡精, as how the words implied, is made by the sperms of chickens...then she laughed (the whole class oso) laughed in disbelief,she straight said i m a cheater (OF COZ I AM!!!)....but, keeping a really straight face, i looked at her, and started to wave my hands (like how the politicians do in their speech) and i actually go and draw a few organics structure representing the nutrients of the sperms of chicken (of coz bluff one) and bragged about how scientist found out why sperms of chickens are nice for health...

well, after 15 mins of bullshit, all of the class actually looked serious now...and they listened to me very carefully......all look so stern and slowly come to an agreement that i m saying the truth after they asked me a few questions (answered easily by organic chem...) and then the fat gal asked me another stupid question: then how the farm ppl get the sperms from the chickens ar?

Then i started...well, i said, u might not believe it u know, but i've seen the report from england actually.

They all looked so serious.

I continued:
The farm ppl...they put sex videos of chickens mating for them to see....on four televisions surrounding the barn...then the male chickens will start masturbating and then they collect the sperms from under the barn....well....in the past, they used to seduce the male chickens manually by using hands....that's why 鸡精 so expensive in the past and nowadays not so expensive d coz the production cost being cut down....

HAHAHAAHAHA......i laughed till wanna blow in my heart but looking at their serious faces, i decided not to break this 'joke'...and i laughed till wanna burst on my way back to my house......HAHAHAHHAA

and this fat gal oso very funny....i keh si keh si talk about bluffed stuffs of me and girls kissing....plus watching sex videos together to cut down the urge to make sex...(bluff till wanna ki siao d), well i bluffed seriously, and she really took it seriously!! GOD!!! and in the end i made her declared that she watched gangbangs sex videos of 3 ppl in front of the class, thus admitted that she searched for porn online oso........HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.....HIAK HIAK HIAK

and in the end before i left, i told them of a sex videos of the NTU & UTAR students making sex (they shot it with hp one)....how interesting it is and how keng it is then they all asked from me !!! (the fat gal, the other gal in the class and the clhs guy). Well, i said NO of coz.....but if.....i told them, u get 80 marks in ur coming add maths exam then i will lend them the videos + a lot of freebies :D :D

THEY ALL GO UPROAR....and they swear die oso wanna try......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LOLZ LOLZ!!!!! this is really SIAO MAN....well, i am very confident they wont get so good a results....coz their add maths less than 20 marks one........HIAK HIAK HIAK....well, u see, teaching tuition can be fun oso, if u know how to bullshit and dig stuffs from ur students!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAA

HKUST is the short form for? guess.....;-)

Haha…guys sorry ya long time din blog. These few days I have contacted several ppl who are going HKUST as well…hmm, the list is provided by HKUST’s permission after we asked from them. Everyone has nice chat and happy to make new frens as well…I think it’s not so lonely anymore in HK.

Hey hey…guess what we have contacted our senior from Jit Sin who is doing his second year there…well, he said to us that HKUST stands for Hong Kong University of Stress and Tension…ah that really put us into a seriously troublesome state…dakada he told us to play hard during this time being…;-)

We proposed to reach HK by July 10th…taking the Cathay plane at 7.45 am on the 10th. Still it’s not really settled down, just a pre-plan….or u call that as a draft? ;-) Well guys that’s becoz we have a summer programme commencing on 12th July, and I also think it would be convenient if I could reach there earlier by one or two days to prepare stuffs…coz we hafta take exams after the programme ends  sux hor?

I am still considering of buying a laptop before going HK…well, since xinch has been back in pg these few days, I think I would go around with her looking at the models…the specs and stuffs, then only decide what to buy…..and xinch and I just discovered that I have amnesia problem from an event occurred long long time ago one…..well, we will keep that as a secret, right, xinch? ;-)

These few days my dial-up really got problems…kept disconnecting on its own and worse still, even I get connected after a while, I cant load anything coz it’s not ‘really’ connected as how it seems….strange hor? *sigh*

Well, I oso a lil paiseh these few days coz I overheard sum casual jogging fellows in the botanical gardens talking bout me….saying that I haf good stamina and cannot stop once I started running kinda stuffs…..hahahahahahaha…..it’s not that I wanna show or sth….just to clarify that I am not like how they put it!! :-P If u dun believe it, come and have a jog with me then u know! Hahahahaha :-P :-P