I hardly recover from the deep emotions i m inscribed in after watching "A walk to remember", again. It's like, I had forgotten all those true feelings and old thoughts inside me all along. How hard I wished and fought my way to this good university i m in now, those old days when everything I have now seems to be so far, far away.
"Getting out of Beaufort is not a problem. It's more like figuring out what you gonna do when you get somewhere."
If life is ever so fragile, I hope the inner child will hold me in one piece, and guide me on with my true heart. Days in foreign lands are not hard; they are like fluid containers: they change me, they twist me, for good or not, I never know. But one thing for sure is I do not want to lose all those feelings once resided inside me. They're once my motivation.
Is something planned for us beyond this? I think I do not know, and do not wish to think deeper into it. I will lose myself while searching the answer in between. Sometimes there're too many theories and we kinda get lost in the maze.
I guess I do not need to look around for motivation anymore. It's already inside me, within me, and a part of me all along. It's asleep, or rather, it's forgotten.
A precious chance I fought all that hard for in the past, listening to the sad music I used to listen to, getting up late at night eating supper with a bunch of friends after a late study, watching movies depicting youngsters who fought their ways towards college...oh God, i can't believe that only 1 hour ago I just recalled myself those precious memories, ambitions and feelings that accompany me along in the long, dark night. This is what I've been looking for, ain't it?
Slowly caressing the furnitures all around me, I think to myself: it's time. It's not about getting motivated to study or do something in life. Motivation is a false light that always need to be serviced and maintained. Personally, I think I just figured out how to get over it. In the end, it's all about doing what I chose, and hold faith in the direction I want myself to be on. It's also about the faith I have in myself.
Faith.
"Getting out of Beaufort is not a problem. It's more like figuring out what you gonna do when you get somewhere."
If life is ever so fragile, I hope the inner child will hold me in one piece, and guide me on with my true heart. Days in foreign lands are not hard; they are like fluid containers: they change me, they twist me, for good or not, I never know. But one thing for sure is I do not want to lose all those feelings once resided inside me. They're once my motivation.
Is something planned for us beyond this? I think I do not know, and do not wish to think deeper into it. I will lose myself while searching the answer in between. Sometimes there're too many theories and we kinda get lost in the maze.
I guess I do not need to look around for motivation anymore. It's already inside me, within me, and a part of me all along. It's asleep, or rather, it's forgotten.
A precious chance I fought all that hard for in the past, listening to the sad music I used to listen to, getting up late at night eating supper with a bunch of friends after a late study, watching movies depicting youngsters who fought their ways towards college...oh God, i can't believe that only 1 hour ago I just recalled myself those precious memories, ambitions and feelings that accompany me along in the long, dark night. This is what I've been looking for, ain't it?
Slowly caressing the furnitures all around me, I think to myself: it's time. It's not about getting motivated to study or do something in life. Motivation is a false light that always need to be serviced and maintained. Personally, I think I just figured out how to get over it. In the end, it's all about doing what I chose, and hold faith in the direction I want myself to be on. It's also about the faith I have in myself.
Faith.
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