It's a good time to examine myself again. I found that I am lagging off in the mood of wanting to achieve something big the past month. But this trip to Beijing somehow brings me a message, a subtle one, but I sensed it in time, captured it, and played with it.
I think somehow I am not occupied by alot of things as alot of people and myself would have assumed. Of course there are tonnes of things piling up in front of me waiting for me to settle, but it's the mind that is clogged, not my schedule.
Although Beijing is heavily polluted, I think this trip somehow cleansed a big part of my clogged mind. It seems like, suddenly, I made it to the other side of the sea which I thought that I could not cross before. I am not easily tensed anymore, alot more calm and quit shaking my legs. I got heavily sick in Beijing, and spent most of the time drinking water and sleeping. I can get more focused and I somehow know that things come my way, no matter how difficult they are, I can tackle them with confidence.
It is something very utterly different comparing to my old confident self. And that's why I am writing this, to explore more about how it works.
I think the change has something to do with my illness, people I meet in Beijing, the experience I had, the food I eat, the conversations I had, the sms-es I received and everything else that might slip my mind.
It's inexplicable. Trust me it isn't. Somehow, things changed. My POV changed. I can settle more with myself than before, and I mean a lot more. Before it's the vibes, the adrenaline that push me. I am not saying now it isn't, but the chakra I feed on before suddenly grow a lot more than before. I am starting to feed on the natural energy around me now.
It's indeed very strange and it's a good change. Beijing, the city that changed me.
-
I think somehow I am not occupied by alot of things as alot of people and myself would have assumed. Of course there are tonnes of things piling up in front of me waiting for me to settle, but it's the mind that is clogged, not my schedule.
Although Beijing is heavily polluted, I think this trip somehow cleansed a big part of my clogged mind. It seems like, suddenly, I made it to the other side of the sea which I thought that I could not cross before. I am not easily tensed anymore, alot more calm and quit shaking my legs. I got heavily sick in Beijing, and spent most of the time drinking water and sleeping. I can get more focused and I somehow know that things come my way, no matter how difficult they are, I can tackle them with confidence.
It is something very utterly different comparing to my old confident self. And that's why I am writing this, to explore more about how it works.
I think the change has something to do with my illness, people I meet in Beijing, the experience I had, the food I eat, the conversations I had, the sms-es I received and everything else that might slip my mind.
It's inexplicable. Trust me it isn't. Somehow, things changed. My POV changed. I can settle more with myself than before, and I mean a lot more. Before it's the vibes, the adrenaline that push me. I am not saying now it isn't, but the chakra I feed on before suddenly grow a lot more than before. I am starting to feed on the natural energy around me now.
It's indeed very strange and it's a good change. Beijing, the city that changed me.
-
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