Inspired by miss cucumber's review on past year, i thought i should do sth similar as well, since i need to think bout what really happened and some brief lookout for what i should do in the future.
time flies. i've been in hong kong for already seven months: i see a great deal, i hear a great deal, and of course i learn a great deal. but there've been rights and there've been wrongs. life ain't perfect, and i believe one thing, truthfully, which is that if one person continues to live being frank and truthful to him/herself, then life is at its best. ;-)
January was when the heartbeat increased and emotions stiffened. I had been visiting KL for a few times in December 2005 and January, and I received some information that really broke my heart. Crying is not the way out; tears won't come. instead, i felt blood, dripping in my heart as my life inched on. A birthday and a new year which came in a melancholic tune. I suddenly realized it's time to heal the long-scratched heart. I settle down, and read a lot of books. Mostly are Haruki Murakami's.
February sees a merry celebration of CNY. Of course, i didn't get to realize that celebrating CNY is such a big event for me until now, when i knew that i gonna celebrate my 2007 CNY in hong kong. Burning firecrackers, and hearing the explosion going off turns out to be a slow motion movie in my mind, with some sad tunes echoing in the distant. The atmosphere, family, friends and things that hold dear to me once, suddenly become so far away. Memory works in a funny way. When i could still remember perfectly, i just happen not to feel like missing home at all. But after 7 months in hk, and those memories began to blur and sway, I started to think of a lot of stuff that once happened in my life. Those gang of friends that used to cheer my old days in Chung Ling, my dearest 'family-like' friends who i used to spill my heart to, and my dear mum who i used to hug everyday i went back home. Things seem to be so far away. I didn't cry but i can feel a short stream of tears inside my heart.
March reveals the fruitful results of STPM which I had worked really hard for in upper six. Finally the dream of going to singapore university becomes so realistic and not blurry anymore. Life is still the same. Playing games with friends in cyber cafe almost 3 or 4 days per week, hiking, jogging and hanging out with my gang of friends. While applying for NTU and NUS, suddenly i come across HKUST while talking to my counselling teacher Miss Ung. Applied for it very last minute. Got interviewed for scholarship. Basically during that time life goes on really easily and i never thought of any possibility to go overseas other than Singapore.
April was a month pretty much the same. Only difference is that my heart is starting to heal. Finally i could face her with a 'healthy' heart during outings with her. Things get a little intimate but i was as pessimistic as always, and store all the feelings into the deep heart. At that time I told myself to look at the future with an open mind and let fate do what it should.
May tells the tale of swaying choices. I decided on my own to study civil engineering because that's what i like the most out of all the science and engineering. Medicine just not my cup of tea and to hell with pharmacy. Parents interfered with my choice but i decided that my choice is my own. Application for NTU and NUS and UTM all succeeded with my first choice as the results. Application for UTM is just a joke. Basically everyone knows that malaysian uni sux in every single way. Just when I decided to settle my mind down to think about life in singapore, i received phone call telling me that i might have gotten the HKUST scholarship.
June marks the month of tide turn. I kept postponing the decision of choosing between HK and singapore. Deep inside my heart i wanna go hk but seeing the face of parents I think that i should at least honour their decision for once in my life since I had been disobeying theirs and walk my own path all the while. (hahaha...here i mean 'big decision'...) My parents kept asking around about reputation and stuff and chances and at the end of june they said: "Hong kong", two words which mark the beginning of my challenge.
July sees the old ghee changed in a great deal. I got courageous and decided to confess to the girl I had been liking all along. Confession is made on the basis of telling her what i felt instead of wanting to be with her, which is something I only dream of. After the confession I depart Penang the next morning to Hong kong, leaving my dearest mum, all my good gang of friends (old wei zhi, xinch, jiah ling, june, samuel etc...) and her. Upon arrival of hong kong i completely lost touch of everyone except her, who kept messaging me once or twice per day on basis, which really made me cried everytime i thought of her. At that time i knew that i really like her and my heart hurts becoz i don't know what will become of in the future becoz nobody knows. I started to attend summer course then. It was basically maths and language courses which prepare us for uni life. We attend the course together with the EAS students (Early Admission Scheme) of hong kong. They are the top 0.5% of hong kong o-level and they could admit into uni earlier without having to wait for the A-level exams and stuff. Well, at start they prove to be geng...but at the end of the camp I finally picked my confidence up and be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with them.
August is the month when i get to explore hong kong and read up a lot of good books in my library. Jiah Ling arrived in hong kong and we got out!! Well, i really have to thank her a lot because: 1st, FINALLY I GET TO SEE ONE OF THE DEAREST FRIEND OF MY GANG AFTER TWO MONTHS!!!!, and 2nd, she's really generous to chia me eat a lot of really expensive hong kong food which i dare not to enter to eat usually. Therefore i made a promise to her that i will chia her back when i earn money in future! ;-) Hope you see this yea caryn!!
September is the month when war began. I got to know that JUPAS entry students of hong kong and mainland students are very geng. But still i just couldn't pick up the mood to study and the whole month pass just like that, without me doing any 'real' revision and all. September also marks the starting of a shitty relationship of mine, which i never wanted in the first place.
October the stakes got higher and i was totally lost in understanding what i really want in relationship. When things got to build up the way it is, i decided that i don't want to start anything right off the point. Everything got really troublesome and i was struggling to get off everything that troubles me.
November i faced the first mid-terms of my uni. Frankly, i did not do well because i only prepare for one subject and the rest i just use my intelligence and luck to get them through. Stumble myself on the computer programming subject. 1st is that i did not touch the subject at all. second is most of my time is robbed of. Finally i succeeded in casting off any relationship that came into my life. I decided not to touch anything else. and from all those events, i knew one true fact: i had 'her' inside me which i never get to erase. she's always there, residing inside and no matter how i wanted to escape it, she poses out as the one in my life. this feeling is not obvious but it is the core beam of my heart platform. I never realised that she is so so so important in my life. All these stuff accumulated and i got really sick. For at least 7 to 9 days i couldn't get up from my bed and attend any class. Things get really messy and it's the darkest month of my whole life. But at the end of it, i started to see light.
December i hafta face my finals. Had a talk with my best buddy wei zhi and decided that my mission is to help ppl to be self-aware by means possible in the future. Contributing to the society becoming something i can work for and not just a dream. (thank you wei zhi). Although studying for final seems to be late but i still put my whole effort to it, betting it on my last gamble. Conclusion after a lot of talking and discussion with my best friends said that i hafta face the true feelings inside me. She is the one, no doubt of it. And later of that month i got to know that i hafta do industrial training and exam during my winter holidays break, and this really is a sad news. Stucked in hong kong, and thought of giving a surprise present to dear old xinch whose b'day is on december 30th. HAHAHAHHAHA bet u get it xinch!!!!
After january 1st of 2007, i m officially 20. Counting the old days and reviewing the 'me' now, i haf really a lot to sigh about. Looking at the results of mine now, i know that i could do a lot better next semester. I will aim for A+ or A grade of cga and get myself to exchange to US or japan the year next. it's time to see the better side of me. I hafta fight for my own future, again, after going through all these tests. For my dear mum and family, for her, for my dear old friends and for the world.
P/s: life is a mess without you guys around me!! Wei Zhi, Xinch, Shao Thing, Ewe Jin, Jun Yi, Jiah Ling, Samuel and a lot more...i really hope you guys are doing ur best too!!!
time flies. i've been in hong kong for already seven months: i see a great deal, i hear a great deal, and of course i learn a great deal. but there've been rights and there've been wrongs. life ain't perfect, and i believe one thing, truthfully, which is that if one person continues to live being frank and truthful to him/herself, then life is at its best. ;-)
January was when the heartbeat increased and emotions stiffened. I had been visiting KL for a few times in December 2005 and January, and I received some information that really broke my heart. Crying is not the way out; tears won't come. instead, i felt blood, dripping in my heart as my life inched on. A birthday and a new year which came in a melancholic tune. I suddenly realized it's time to heal the long-scratched heart. I settle down, and read a lot of books. Mostly are Haruki Murakami's.
February sees a merry celebration of CNY. Of course, i didn't get to realize that celebrating CNY is such a big event for me until now, when i knew that i gonna celebrate my 2007 CNY in hong kong. Burning firecrackers, and hearing the explosion going off turns out to be a slow motion movie in my mind, with some sad tunes echoing in the distant. The atmosphere, family, friends and things that hold dear to me once, suddenly become so far away. Memory works in a funny way. When i could still remember perfectly, i just happen not to feel like missing home at all. But after 7 months in hk, and those memories began to blur and sway, I started to think of a lot of stuff that once happened in my life. Those gang of friends that used to cheer my old days in Chung Ling, my dearest 'family-like' friends who i used to spill my heart to, and my dear mum who i used to hug everyday i went back home. Things seem to be so far away. I didn't cry but i can feel a short stream of tears inside my heart.
March reveals the fruitful results of STPM which I had worked really hard for in upper six. Finally the dream of going to singapore university becomes so realistic and not blurry anymore. Life is still the same. Playing games with friends in cyber cafe almost 3 or 4 days per week, hiking, jogging and hanging out with my gang of friends. While applying for NTU and NUS, suddenly i come across HKUST while talking to my counselling teacher Miss Ung. Applied for it very last minute. Got interviewed for scholarship. Basically during that time life goes on really easily and i never thought of any possibility to go overseas other than Singapore.
April was a month pretty much the same. Only difference is that my heart is starting to heal. Finally i could face her with a 'healthy' heart during outings with her. Things get a little intimate but i was as pessimistic as always, and store all the feelings into the deep heart. At that time I told myself to look at the future with an open mind and let fate do what it should.
May tells the tale of swaying choices. I decided on my own to study civil engineering because that's what i like the most out of all the science and engineering. Medicine just not my cup of tea and to hell with pharmacy. Parents interfered with my choice but i decided that my choice is my own. Application for NTU and NUS and UTM all succeeded with my first choice as the results. Application for UTM is just a joke. Basically everyone knows that malaysian uni sux in every single way. Just when I decided to settle my mind down to think about life in singapore, i received phone call telling me that i might have gotten the HKUST scholarship.
June marks the month of tide turn. I kept postponing the decision of choosing between HK and singapore. Deep inside my heart i wanna go hk but seeing the face of parents I think that i should at least honour their decision for once in my life since I had been disobeying theirs and walk my own path all the while. (hahaha...here i mean 'big decision'...) My parents kept asking around about reputation and stuff and chances and at the end of june they said: "Hong kong", two words which mark the beginning of my challenge.
July sees the old ghee changed in a great deal. I got courageous and decided to confess to the girl I had been liking all along. Confession is made on the basis of telling her what i felt instead of wanting to be with her, which is something I only dream of. After the confession I depart Penang the next morning to Hong kong, leaving my dearest mum, all my good gang of friends (old wei zhi, xinch, jiah ling, june, samuel etc...) and her. Upon arrival of hong kong i completely lost touch of everyone except her, who kept messaging me once or twice per day on basis, which really made me cried everytime i thought of her. At that time i knew that i really like her and my heart hurts becoz i don't know what will become of in the future becoz nobody knows. I started to attend summer course then. It was basically maths and language courses which prepare us for uni life. We attend the course together with the EAS students (Early Admission Scheme) of hong kong. They are the top 0.5% of hong kong o-level and they could admit into uni earlier without having to wait for the A-level exams and stuff. Well, at start they prove to be geng...but at the end of the camp I finally picked my confidence up and be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with them.
August is the month when i get to explore hong kong and read up a lot of good books in my library. Jiah Ling arrived in hong kong and we got out!! Well, i really have to thank her a lot because: 1st, FINALLY I GET TO SEE ONE OF THE DEAREST FRIEND OF MY GANG AFTER TWO MONTHS!!!!, and 2nd, she's really generous to chia me eat a lot of really expensive hong kong food which i dare not to enter to eat usually. Therefore i made a promise to her that i will chia her back when i earn money in future! ;-) Hope you see this yea caryn!!
September is the month when war began. I got to know that JUPAS entry students of hong kong and mainland students are very geng. But still i just couldn't pick up the mood to study and the whole month pass just like that, without me doing any 'real' revision and all. September also marks the starting of a shitty relationship of mine, which i never wanted in the first place.
October the stakes got higher and i was totally lost in understanding what i really want in relationship. When things got to build up the way it is, i decided that i don't want to start anything right off the point. Everything got really troublesome and i was struggling to get off everything that troubles me.
November i faced the first mid-terms of my uni. Frankly, i did not do well because i only prepare for one subject and the rest i just use my intelligence and luck to get them through. Stumble myself on the computer programming subject. 1st is that i did not touch the subject at all. second is most of my time is robbed of. Finally i succeeded in casting off any relationship that came into my life. I decided not to touch anything else. and from all those events, i knew one true fact: i had 'her' inside me which i never get to erase. she's always there, residing inside and no matter how i wanted to escape it, she poses out as the one in my life. this feeling is not obvious but it is the core beam of my heart platform. I never realised that she is so so so important in my life. All these stuff accumulated and i got really sick. For at least 7 to 9 days i couldn't get up from my bed and attend any class. Things get really messy and it's the darkest month of my whole life. But at the end of it, i started to see light.
December i hafta face my finals. Had a talk with my best buddy wei zhi and decided that my mission is to help ppl to be self-aware by means possible in the future. Contributing to the society becoming something i can work for and not just a dream. (thank you wei zhi). Although studying for final seems to be late but i still put my whole effort to it, betting it on my last gamble. Conclusion after a lot of talking and discussion with my best friends said that i hafta face the true feelings inside me. She is the one, no doubt of it. And later of that month i got to know that i hafta do industrial training and exam during my winter holidays break, and this really is a sad news. Stucked in hong kong, and thought of giving a surprise present to dear old xinch whose b'day is on december 30th. HAHAHAHHAHA bet u get it xinch!!!!
After january 1st of 2007, i m officially 20. Counting the old days and reviewing the 'me' now, i haf really a lot to sigh about. Looking at the results of mine now, i know that i could do a lot better next semester. I will aim for A+ or A grade of cga and get myself to exchange to US or japan the year next. it's time to see the better side of me. I hafta fight for my own future, again, after going through all these tests. For my dear mum and family, for her, for my dear old friends and for the world.
P/s: life is a mess without you guys around me!! Wei Zhi, Xinch, Shao Thing, Ewe Jin, Jun Yi, Jiah Ling, Samuel and a lot more...i really hope you guys are doing ur best too!!!
5 comments:
Become 20 years old liao.
In japan is considered as adult d.
Can smoke can drink alcohol.
Can also do sum adult thing d... err hmm...
Well, wish u Happy 20th Birthday.
And also wish u Happy 2007.
hehe.....
hey man....thanks!!!
drink alcohol...er, did that a lot in hk...but smoking, i m currently not interested although Haruki Murakami influenced me a lot in the way of thinking. lolz
2007...the year of change indeed!! let's work hard together!! gambatte yo!!!
ehhh...
sory sorry sorry forgot to say this...
but happy belated bday!!!!
and u r not the only person who has exams during winter break eh...hha here is right after xmas break then we have exams...and i havent study!!!
die die die!!!
neways neways...
reflecting on things that happen around you for the whole year really make u realise how u have lived the 365 days..with all the joy and tears... but i am glad that ur 2006 is not wasted after all =)
yoo ghee! nice review man.. mayb i shud do one too haha (since i dun blog bout anything else anyway lolz)
hmm.. i really think our lifes compliment each other in this world. As long as we hv a destined fate, we shud treasure it n move on together ^^.
gambateh!! n tell me when u come back lei.. i am still blurr lolz
hahaha i totally agree with ur "complement" each other thingie. Let's hold each other tight and move along...only by that we can survive. ;-)
p/s: in less than 24 hours after dan posted his comment, he got totally freaked out in his room himself...LOLZ
wenying> winter break exams sux...more sux than ever...really god bullshit. btw dun be sorry...lolz...update bout ur life too ;-)
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