Arrive; Attack; and Leave

January 24th, 10.30am, the airplane departed for Singapore, marking the end of my short holidays...a hard-earned 10 days. It's a period of joy and refreshment; new thoughts; newly found direction and, a refreshed self.

The Arrival

Saturday, January 13th, 8.30pm

The plane made a smooth touchdown, smooth as in even seatbelt is untied, you will still stick to ur seat, safe and sound. Both my palms are wet with sweat, since I gonna place my feet on the so-long soil which my dreams, personalities and love are built. The mere notion of getting to see and do everything I want flashed through my mind again. The song 'For You I'll Die' by Marion Raven played a sad tune when the seatbelt light was turned off. The land I used to be so familiar with, my family, and my dear friends. And her.


9.30pm
Well, i got myself in a cozy little restaurant (i know how to go, but dunno how to describe...nvm d ar, next time i bring u guys there lolz), had a lot of vegi which are so rareeeeee in hk. A long chat with parents bring back old days memories which I don't get to notice in old days.

10.20pm
Reached home, called xinch. She sounded shocked. Blah. I told her i gonna be back on 13th and here she goes again!!! SHE TOTALLY FORGOT. my god. I couldn't believe such a short-term memory person ever lived on this planet. She's so perfect to be Dori. Call her Dori Chin next time. I m sure we all know who she is. Got sze ming's number from through her. (actually it's---> xinch gave me june's number ---> i smsed june---> june smsed/called lydia----> lydia gave her sze ming's number ---> then june smsed me) Called sze ming. Plan wasn't going the way i planned. Shit wei zhi got his lazy bones and can't go out as he promised to sze ming a week before one again. So can't get to scare him in the first place. This also ruined my plan of surprising Duen horng on sunday. i guess i delayed everything by one day then.

The Attack Commences...

Sunday, January 14th, 2.00pm

Finished a game of dota with 5 insane comps on my old comp. Missed my old comp a lot. Half an hour ago i received a call from sze ming saying that cb dan will be out to send his bro to sch on 2.00pm, i guess it's pretty nice timing to get to his home around that time to scare him. But i got myself delayed becoz of the game. And worse still, I went to one-stop to buy myself a digi simcard before leaving for his house. I parked my car in a place nearby n walked towards his house. Time marked: 2.20pm. I got lucky. Dan's parents juz drove back. And his mum checked him out first and told me he's upstairs. Got upstairs silently, found him playing programme piano. Sneak up and tapped his shoulder. MUAHAHAHAHA...the first time in my life to see wei zhi so dumbstruck, and he can't talk for a long time. LOLZ LOLZ!!!

Monday, January 15th, 9.00pm

I was late...i was late and I was more than late. That’s all I could say at this moment…god…I sped off to her house with the rose I bought at around one stop area there. Hope that when I reach there, she won’t be sleeping d. But in fact, I was more than early. Lolz…gosh. I pasang kuat-kuat this time, formal open coat, long-sleeve white T, and nicely combed hair…haha, nvr see myself to be in such a good shape before. But then, it was like, ah, she’s not home…so I waited in my car, troubled bird dan by smsing him. In the end, I was too kin cheong, so I get him to call her with the ‘sorry, wrong number’ style to confirm she’s asleep or outside. Ah, the answer of engineering intuition is, yeap she’s outside.

In the end I waited till 10.45 sth, gave the home a call, YES!!! She answered it…hehe…got up to her house in no time (and breathless…becoz it’s 5 storeys tall), knocked the door and surprised her. *happy smile* Talked with her and her mum for 2 hours ++. (actually talked with her mum more….=.=||| ). But it really feels good to see her again. In fact, it never feels better than this. Days of being away from home, and distant calls, it drives me a little crazy d. Aihz…couldn’t date her then. Hafta wait till Sunday. :D

The Activities (January 16th till January 21st)

Yeah, never been so fruitful and packed holidays ever. Got out with old bunch of best friends, play pool, visiting relatives, attending wedding dinner, go back to sch to visit teachers and stuff. On January 20th, went sing redbox with dan, june, lydia. It feels good to sing again, lolz…June, u haf a very very good vocal, as always. And dan, u still sing with the same old croaky voice!! IMPROVE IT MAN!!! *rotfl*

On January 21st, I went out with her. Took her to a sad movie. This is the third time I saw her crying. It’s beautiful, to see the emotions flow. I get to like her more and more each days. The affection never dies off but grows stronger, I guess. Had a good talk with her. A better one than last time. It just feels like heaven. It still is.

Off to KL!! (January 22nd and 23rd)

Decided to give a visit to the old xinch and caryn in kl. It’s really sad not to be able to see them, u know. Reached kl at around 2.30pm, but waited xinch at kelana jaya until 4.30pm…my god, two hours!!!!!!!!!! It’s longer than the time I made her wait last time. God…payback time eh, xinch??? Cilaka….

But then I felt really happy to get to see her and caryn again. We went one-utama, had my belated lunch there, then went to xinch’s apartment and we chat and chat and chat and chat until we dunno when to stop. *sighz* It always feel like the time is not enough. And all right it’s not enough for sure.

Had dinner at william’s later. It is a really good dinner. Great dishes. Will get there next time if ever got the chance. (bring me there again xinch :D) Caryn caught cigarette smoke and got really allergic to it. Aihz…but other than that, it feels good. We then drop by caryn’s suite to haf a look at those photos of hers in turkey, and Greece, and we chat again. But xinch and I got tired, and literally nearly fell asleep. LOLZ. Caryn really haf nice photos there…u are bound to be a really good photographer in the future, caryn, trust me. Next time gonna get u with us to travel d. Really artistic feel in those photographs touches, really.

Went back to old xinch’s apartment later in the night, and we rock along with lostprophets’ noise. I get to like the band more and more each day. :D Had a nice shower. Ah. It feels really good to be clean. Then I slept on the mattress beside xinch’s bed. We had a pretty cozy chat in the dark until we fell asleep. Wah, xinch, it really feels good to see you and hear you again. Miss your presence in penang, and I miss it here in hk too. And I was really sorry about what happened last time. I really feel bad bout it. But either way is, you grow a lot more mature and I see that you are less angelic d…LOLZ LOLZ. DON’T try to skip meals again or u won’t know what I will give u ur next b’day d yeah.

Leaving

Wednesday, January 24th, 10.30am.

SIA flight is waiting for me, at the other end of the gate. I already started to miss home already and my circle of friends d. Ee lin, sorry that I din get to see you this time. Next time la. *sigh* “All the best to you guys!!!” that’s what I said when my flight tilted upward, soaring into the white clouds in the sky.


Epilogue

Ah, today my semester starts d…it feels sienz, finishing my training two days ago. But then I got enough sleep d, dun worry man!! And good news guys…my CGA is A- now!! Yeah!!! Got encouraged now. I am still walking on this path, with a little piece of me growing old. Man, I love being me.

Past; Present; Future

Inspired by miss cucumber's review on past year, i thought i should do sth similar as well, since i need to think bout what really happened and some brief lookout for what i should do in the future.

time flies. i've been in hong kong for already seven months: i see a great deal, i hear a great deal, and of course i learn a great deal. but there've been rights and there've been wrongs. life ain't perfect, and i believe one thing, truthfully, which is that if one person continues to live being frank and truthful to him/herself, then life is at its best. ;-)


January was when the heartbeat increased and emotions stiffened. I had been visiting KL for a few times in December 2005 and January, and I received some information that really broke my heart. Crying is not the way out; tears won't come. instead, i felt blood, dripping in my heart as my life inched on. A birthday and a new year which came in a melancholic tune. I suddenly realized it's time to heal the long-scratched heart. I settle down, and read a lot of books. Mostly are Haruki Murakami's.


February sees a merry celebration of CNY. Of course, i didn't get to realize that celebrating CNY is such a big event for me until now, when i knew that i gonna celebrate my 2007 CNY in hong kong. Burning firecrackers, and hearing the explosion going off turns out to be a slow motion movie in my mind, with some sad tunes echoing in the distant. The atmosphere, family, friends and things that hold dear to me once, suddenly become so far away. Memory works in a funny way. When i could still remember perfectly, i just happen not to feel like missing home at all. But after 7 months in hk, and those memories began to blur and sway, I started to think of a lot of stuff that once happened in my life. Those gang of friends that used to cheer my old days in Chung Ling, my dearest 'family-like' friends who i used to spill my heart to, and my dear mum who i used to hug everyday i went back home. Things seem to be so far away. I didn't cry but i can feel a short stream of tears inside my heart.


March reveals the fruitful results of STPM which I had worked really hard for in upper six. Finally the dream of going to singapore university becomes so realistic and not blurry anymore. Life is still the same. Playing games with friends in cyber cafe almost 3 or 4 days per week, hiking, jogging and hanging out with my gang of friends. While applying for NTU and NUS, suddenly i come across HKUST while talking to my counselling teacher Miss Ung. Applied for it very last minute. Got interviewed for scholarship. Basically during that time life goes on really easily and i never thought of any possibility to go overseas other than Singapore.


April was a month pretty much the same. Only difference is that my heart is starting to heal. Finally i could face her with a 'healthy' heart during outings with her. Things get a little intimate but i was as pessimistic as always, and store all the feelings into the deep heart. At that time I told myself to look at the future with an open mind and let fate do what it should.


May tells the tale of swaying choices. I decided on my own to study civil engineering because that's what i like the most out of all the science and engineering. Medicine just not my cup of tea and to hell with pharmacy. Parents interfered with my choice but i decided that my choice is my own. Application for NTU and NUS and UTM all succeeded with my first choice as the results. Application for UTM is just a joke. Basically everyone knows that malaysian uni sux in every single way. Just when I decided to settle my mind down to think about life in singapore, i received phone call telling me that i might have gotten the HKUST scholarship.


June marks the month of tide turn. I kept postponing the decision of choosing between HK and singapore. Deep inside my heart i wanna go hk but seeing the face of parents I think that i should at least honour their decision for once in my life since I had been disobeying theirs and walk my own path all the while. (hahaha...here i mean 'big decision'...) My parents kept asking around about reputation and stuff and chances and at the end of june they said: "Hong kong", two words which mark the beginning of my challenge.


July sees the old ghee changed in a great deal. I got courageous and decided to confess to the girl I had been liking all along. Confession is made on the basis of telling her what i felt instead of wanting to be with her, which is something I only dream of. After the confession I depart Penang the next morning to Hong kong, leaving my dearest mum, all my good gang of friends (old wei zhi, xinch, jiah ling, june, samuel etc...) and her. Upon arrival of hong kong i completely lost touch of everyone except her, who kept messaging me once or twice per day on basis, which really made me cried everytime i thought of her. At that time i knew that i really like her and my heart hurts becoz i don't know what will become of in the future becoz nobody knows. I started to attend summer course then. It was basically maths and language courses which prepare us for uni life. We attend the course together with the EAS students (Early Admission Scheme) of hong kong. They are the top 0.5% of hong kong o-level and they could admit into uni earlier without having to wait for the A-level exams and stuff. Well, at start they prove to be geng...but at the end of the camp I finally picked my confidence up and be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with them.


August is the month when i get to explore hong kong and read up a lot of good books in my library. Jiah Ling arrived in hong kong and we got out!! Well, i really have to thank her a lot because: 1st, FINALLY I GET TO SEE ONE OF THE DEAREST FRIEND OF MY GANG AFTER TWO MONTHS!!!!, and 2nd, she's really generous to chia me eat a lot of really expensive hong kong food which i dare not to enter to eat usually. Therefore i made a promise to her that i will chia her back when i earn money in future! ;-) Hope you see this yea caryn!!


September is the month when war began. I got to know that JUPAS entry students of hong kong and mainland students are very geng. But still i just couldn't pick up the mood to study and the whole month pass just like that, without me doing any 'real' revision and all. September also marks the starting of a shitty relationship of mine, which i never wanted in the first place.


October the stakes got higher and i was totally lost in understanding what i really want in relationship. When things got to build up the way it is, i decided that i don't want to start anything right off the point. Everything got really troublesome and i was struggling to get off everything that troubles me.


November i faced the first mid-terms of my uni. Frankly, i did not do well because i only prepare for one subject and the rest i just use my intelligence and luck to get them through. Stumble myself on the computer programming subject. 1st is that i did not touch the subject at all. second is most of my time is robbed of. Finally i succeeded in casting off any relationship that came into my life. I decided not to touch anything else. and from all those events, i knew one true fact: i had 'her' inside me which i never get to erase. she's always there, residing inside and no matter how i wanted to escape it, she poses out as the one in my life. this feeling is not obvious but it is the core beam of my heart platform. I never realised that she is so so so important in my life. All these stuff accumulated and i got really sick. For at least 7 to 9 days i couldn't get up from my bed and attend any class. Things get really messy and it's the darkest month of my whole life. But at the end of it, i started to see light.


December i hafta face my finals. Had a talk with my best buddy wei zhi and decided that my mission is to help ppl to be self-aware by means possible in the future. Contributing to the society becoming something i can work for and not just a dream. (thank you wei zhi). Although studying for final seems to be late but i still put my whole effort to it, betting it on my last gamble. Conclusion after a lot of talking and discussion with my best friends said that i hafta face the true feelings inside me. She is the one, no doubt of it. And later of that month i got to know that i hafta do industrial training and exam during my winter holidays break, and this really is a sad news. Stucked in hong kong, and thought of giving a surprise present to dear old xinch whose b'day is on december 30th. HAHAHAHHAHA bet u get it xinch!!!!



After january 1st of 2007, i m officially 20. Counting the old days and reviewing the 'me' now, i haf really a lot to sigh about. Looking at the results of mine now, i know that i could do a lot better next semester. I will aim for A+ or A grade of cga and get myself to exchange to US or japan the year next. it's time to see the better side of me. I hafta fight for my own future, again, after going through all these tests. For my dear mum and family, for her, for my dear old friends and for the world.


P/s: life is a mess without you guys around me!! Wei Zhi, Xinch, Shao Thing, Ewe Jin, Jun Yi, Jiah Ling, Samuel and a lot more...i really hope you guys are doing ur best too!!!