輸入法升級！！！微軟的失敗。。。

昨天晚上挺興奮的，因為發現了兩種新的輸入法，一為谷歌輸入法，一為搜狗輸入法。後來發現原來谷歌輸入法有抄襲搜狗輸入法的跡象，自己在兩個不同公司的實 驗室網站看了一下，發現谷歌輸入法的確沒有搜狗的厲害，詞庫方面的導入也優化于谷歌的，感覺也快的很多。雖然發現到谷歌輸入法的妙處，可是用了用搜狗輸入 法，發現還是搜狗的妙一些。

好吧，我也就正式介紹大家這個互聯網裡最新的拼音輸入法技術。雖然話說谷歌輸入法不妙還有技術欠佳，可是它還是有一個可以在一面打字一面搜查google網站的特點，也不是全然不行的。可是若是要比起打中文字這一方面，還是搜狗遠遠領先了。

或許有一天谷歌進步了，那可能我會選用那個版本。確實，在任何方面來說，微軟輸入法已經被用者淘汰了。微軟弱勢越來越不妙，有接近崩潰的味道了。

就在此補丁上搜狗輸入法的網址及基本功能解釋吧：

網址：http://pinyin.sogou.com/

1. 超强互联网词库，无所不包

利用搜索引擎技术，根据搜索词生成的输入法互联网词库，能够覆盖所有类别的流行词汇。无论是最新的歌手、电视剧、电影名、游戏名，还是球星、软件名、动漫、歌曲、电视节目，全部一网打尽。

2. 先进的智能组词算法，首选词准确率第一

最新的智能组词算法应用了领先的搜索引擎技术，分析搜索引擎语料库的语言模型，使搜狗输入法的首选词准确率在所有输入法中居第一。

3. 功能强大，兼容多种输入习惯

提供全面的按键设置和外观选择，尽可能适应各种常见输入法的输入习惯，使智能ABC、微软拼音、拼音加加、紫光拼音等输入法的用户都可以轻松上手。

4. 易用性佳，高级功能丰富

通过对输入细节的观察，我们特别设计了许多体贴的功能，ign→ing拼音纠错、网址输入模式、词语联想、自动在线升级词库等为你创造更为流畅的输入体验！

哈哈，就此完結吧。哦，對了，對女生來說可能是個好消息。。。對的，搜狗輸入法擁有皮膚設置！！你可以擁有一個天花亂墜的輸入皮膚，不再是平庸的輸入畫面了。嘿嘿。。。不錯吧。。。去睇睇一下吧。;-)

干涸

不斷的付出後，心靈逐漸地干涸。在冬天將盡，春天將始的日子裡，我再看見一條披滿荊棘之路。

無數的刺，無數的事。

心靈干涸之前盡所能的努力。只為了生存。

費盡力氣也要逆流而上。務必要如此。

Revival

Things are getting back to normal, bit by bit. I can definitely feel the air of it. I am sure that next semester gonna be real comeback hit for me.

As my relationship grows towards stability, I am pretty sure I will have a large share of my time dedicated towards my studies and career in the year to come.

GAMBATTE!!!!!!!!

New

Well hehe guys, i guess i din update for a goddamn long time...so urm, this is sth to review on since a whole new year has commenced and I din actually sit down for a quiet reflection.

Let's see...in the year 2007 i do have great achievements in Spring 2007 and a great summer, for that I met my gf and made two research projects a success. Things turn quite the other way for the other half as immense balancing between heavy work, studies and relationship. Let's just say I got myself trapped, with a clear conscience. And that hurts the most since I am actually feeling the pain, as if being whipped naked.

Life teaches me a lot more. That's what i can say. I changed. The view of politics, family, relationship and career. Well not a big swing but some parts in me were gone. And a part of my heart told me that I missed them. Time moves on. The thing is I get better of it as I love the new self more.

I am a man of darkness. Concealed in darkness always, I search for the meaning of life from time to time. In the past I go after a blink of romance; but for now I search for an eternity of family kind-of love. In the past I achieve for merely achieving; for now I achieve for who I am to be able to achieve. In the new 2008, a lot of huge international political struggles are forecasted, and the storm is sweeping tremendously in my ocean too. Things regretted, things wished, things prepared and things unprecedented. I am preparing myself to get ready. I need time for the mentality to sink in.

Seeing my parents getting old each day, a deep sadness entrench in my weak heart. Hopefully, the time of redemption will come fast as I start to earn myself my own living. At the same time, pouring out love and care to them is more than necessary. I failed to be a respectful son and I failed my mum a lot of times in the past. Hope that in the coming new year I will be able to give myself more to them.

Time flies. Wei zhi is interning in taiwan and my uni second year is going to end by June. Things are getting quite out of hands but they will be under control if a more prepared mind and mentality is summoned. Let's wait for yet another awakening of the dragon in my soul. I want something achieved this time. I hunger for another peak after the decline. This time I swear to go a greater length to do what I am supposed to be doing.

Good luck to all of you who spend not the time (or only a few short hours) with me. Paths are diverged but I think with the same mentality of our gang, we will be converging sooner than we thought, on the road of success and self-satisfaction. Be warned that huge storms are waiting ahead, but I know none of us will be scared. Let's take each other's hands, and march into the vast darkness beyond. God bless us in 2008.

Take care, all my old friends. Time it is for us to fight, fight again and keep fighting. Be it a sacred war or a hated one, we will triumph with our own hands, and build our own solid grounds. Cheers to 2008!!!!!

Life's Prison: the Wrong Turn

The man who he should be, who he should not be? One righteous confession to the officer brings one into discharge and thus a life of a convict ahead. 90 grands of free ride ticket to the highest of all institutions...a structural engineer who owes his brother the sum which he thought he deserves it all the while?

Well, Prison Break got me grounded these few days. First is the structural engineer's charisma, that I have to agree. Second would be the way they narrate the stories of how a truthful, righteous man turn a single wrong corner, and ended up in Fox River Penitentiary.

Mind it. I have been starting to think about this these few days when I sat down before my comp to watch Prison Break. What would happen to me if one day I were to make the choice that possibly could make me go into the state I never want it to be? I mean if I were jailed for a rightful reason or whatsoever, what will become of my life? More importantly, what would become of my family members?

Michael Scofield has all the blueprints on his body. Even a genius who has low latent reception got overwhelmed by uncertainties. I guess that works in line with life too. Nobody could live life as the way they print it to be. It never will.

Well, I guess the last step I could take when I took a wrong turn is: Do what I feel is best and right to me and the people I am responsible for. But prevention is always better than cure. I just have to mind every step I take and every word I mutter, so that I really mean what I am doing and saying before that little step brought me into the deep mess of wrong turn consequences that I ever have to face.

Hope this will serve as a warning to myself. Let's get it implanted into my head before I wrap myself into my blankets tonight.

Engineers

Three things, might be all, might be none, might be both of them or might be one of them:

1) Alcohol;
2) Coffee;
3) Cigarette

Oops. I heard from wei zhi that he had one more: potato chips. lol.

These things are those which accompany most of the engineers and engineers-to-be every night when they are designing and solving problems.

Well, I admit it, it's fun though. It's like burning your life, and you feel contented with it.

Since when those two become my partners in handling problems? Well, haha, it's life. I guess I'm finally becoming one of those adults in the anime or movie or whatsoever, without realising it. Really, I have no intention of trailing those 'typical' habits. But just, it's stress relieving.

Let's burn this night through with beer. Cheers!

Equilibrium

Always it's a question about equilibrium. No matter in structural analysis or studies or relationship.

Another student in my uni committed suicide. It is indeed very sad to see someone took his own life away like that, at a price that no one would be able to bid for. Every student in my uni is excellent. Losing any will cost a great loss to the world, of course.

Well as I am holding a scholarship to study now I understand the stress that guy was undergoing perfectly. It is, indeed, very very very stressful. Especially this semester. Calculations are becoming chaotic, plus I have a LDR to maintain.

Let's see where the path will guide me. Anyhow, I hold on strongly to my beliefs, my efforts and my relationship.

May that be the same with everyone of you out there, my blessed friends. Let's make it through together, all out, but not at the cost of our own lives. Every step of ours counts, so does every breath of ours. Amitabha. Be happy. Be strong. Be confident. Believe, or perish.

KNNABCCB

KNNABCCB!!! CCB!!!!!! TWO MIDDLE FINGERS UP!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCB!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

KNNABCCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNNABCCCCCCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

每一天都是新的练习

今天大扫除，加上第一次成功收到阿甄的歌，又找到也成功地download到了Darker than Black的原声带，虽然书没读多少，可是收获却很大。

一直以来在自己的房间住都有种不自在的感觉，大扫除完后感觉不同了。东西放在那里自己有个分寸，终于有种家的感觉，自己习惯自己存在的所在，也有种安定下来的感觉。

听着阿甄的歌，听着听着自己也跟着旋律泛起了一阵淡淡的伤感。对的，每天都是新的练习，要以今天换走昨天的过去。我的期中考有一科考得他妈的像屎一样，其他的科目在mean之上，但是也是不高不矮，他妈的什么成绩。阿甄说得对，选择了爱情，说怎样情绪上与生活上的调整是一定有的，需要的是我们两个把这些影响控制到怎样的程度而已。

今天是新的开始。好的开始。有一种感觉说我从现在开始会得心应手，也会开始幸运。就算不是，也要酱告诉自己。唯有正面的想法会引导我们走向正面的人生。

Youko Kanno的jazz深深地抓住了我。在她的音乐中我找到感触，random的想法及突然爆发的愁绪与伤感。第一次爱上jazz，不是故意的去听与尝试去喜欢，而是不知不觉地被Darker than black的故事与节奏俘虏去了。说起来，Darker than black是一部陪我走过有一段日子的动画。第一集，我还记得是在SU看的，那时大概深夜三点多吧。莫名其妙的在等死亡笔记的download时发现了这部动画的名字怪有感觉的，就下载了一集来看，一看就喜欢上了。我还有一个深深的印象，那几个我在追Darker than black前几集的晚上我都是在SU的房里，都是在深夜；也是我第一次与阿甄真正聊天而在彼此心目中留下了幽默谈话内容的几晚。Darker than black的故事与其意义，音乐，还有每次在深夜看完后与阿甄的聊天在这近半年以来可以说令到我的生活有了几乎180度的转变：从苦恋到热恋，从孤独奋战到拥有彼此，从旧的梦想到新的里程碑，还有无数生活细节上的改变，一言难尽。

故事的主人翁到最后选择了契约者的能力与正常人的情绪的并存。这个选择是无比的痛苦与残忍的，因为两者一开始就不能并存。这条路一选下去就有无数难以意料的后果。可是主人翁说：我决定了。从今天开始我不再是以前的我了。然后他就隐埋闹市，遁逃尘间。

我何尝不是一样。选择了学业和远距离恋爱。两者一直以来都很少并存的例子，况且自己的学业又非常地不轻松，现在肩上又负上了一个重担，随时会吃不过力来。

在Youko Kanno的音乐里游思的刹那，我慢慢的进入了‘黑‘的世界。一段时间后恍然，轻轻地告诉自己：从今天开始我不再是以前的我了。

你可以选择不叫我义龙，我真的不怎么理会。我现在的存在是一种全然的蜕新。我的生活是全然另一套法则了。

每一天都是新的练习，锻炼自己，建立新的人生与世界。我是否与'黑‘一样会走到尽头，那得靠自己的斗志了。当然，还有不断地相信自己的运气常伴身旁。相信。

曾几何时我也变成了契约者了。好，契约者有的就是理智。

Darkness, and Rain

The tunes brought forth the feelings of yesterday, now and tomorrow. What if we don't have what we had yesterday and what we gonna have the next second?

I still remember what I told wei zhi: Every person lives with an ultimate dream to achieve, but at the same time also living towards the ultimate goal of having no dream at all.

No matter whatever will the weather be in the next minute, my world is raining. Drops of jupiter in the first minute; tears in the next, following with laughters of satisfaction. A loop, slowly converging with age.

Hong Kong rained a few hours back. I still have a chance to beg for a clear blue sky at 10 am later. What's best will come on its own. I'm taking exam as how my destiny take me as who I am before, now and after.

Dreams dream a dream of my dream. Illusion? Nay. It's just you, it's just me, it's just whoever that might be.

钟声

今天，我开始沉淀：需要严肃，需要严谨，需要次序。

周杰伦的钢琴停留在他不可说的秘密里；

冷咖啡。。。我不喝咖啡。倒有喝啤酒。渐渐温了的啤酒，在它的气泡随空气而消失时，我突然惊恐，自己迷糊地过了多少时间。

要我怎么捡；唯有从零开始的脚步。啤酒离开了杯垫，我依然留在我的桌上，揣摩公式。今天，我要爆发。

现在。

Do you have a death note?

Does any of you have death note? If you happen to have one, please write my name down on it and let me die cause sooner or later I will have a heart attack anyway. Please do ease my pain.

For illustration purposes,
Oct 09, Tuesday - ielm homework submission
Oct 11, Thursday - civl242 homework submission
Oct 17, Wednesday - civl231 quiz
Oct 18, Thursday - civl231 midterm
Oct 18, Thursday - civl242 homework submission
Oct 19, Friday - civl270 lab report submission
Oct 20, Saturday - civl242 midterm
Oct 20, Saturday - civl270 field trip (12.00 noon to 9 pm)
Oct 22, Monday - econ110 midterm
Oct 22, Monday - research topic presentation
Oct 25, Thursday - civl242 homework submission
Oct 29, Monday - sosc324 midterm
Oct 30, Tuesday - civl253 midterm
Oct 31, Wednesday - ielm202 midterm

Let's face it. I still have at least 3 sets of homeworks unannounced which will come in between. At least two more sosc324 labs come in between. At least one final project of sosc324 will commence about Oct 31. And for god's sake I just completed a 27 pages research paper. Also, for god's mercy, my scholarship hasn't arrived and I am having in average one meal per day.

Kira, please. Do the honor before the torturing.

Come October

Come October and the seasonal wind in Hong Kong reminds me of the its renewed strength. On the way back from Taiwan to Hong Kong the plane shook tremendously. At a fraction of second I nearly thought I would have been in heaven. Well, at least it's not a bad feeling. Kinda more like philosophical thinking.

Come October and here I am, officially back in Hong Kong for a month. 2 months and 18 days I will be back in Penang again, having the time of my life. Travel makes people sick. And I kinda sick of travelling. But then inexplicably sometimes travelling does push the better part of me towards another height. In Hong Kong Lantau airport yesterday night I was caught by the mere thought of going beyond myself. The very promise I made a year ago.

My friends, I understand that all of us has started to get a life of our own. But when you feel lonely and sat down in front of the computer and read my post, you should know that I thought of you guys too at this moment. No worries. One day we will re-unite again, and back to that good old days of ours. Only that this time the new hope lies in the future. May all of you stay healthy always and happy at heart.

Come October and it's time to settle down. Here we go. The tightrope walker has another mission to accomplish, again. Just that this time the rope has shrunk even more. Let's see what will the strong wind of Hong Kong do to me this time. May God and pei zhen be with me.

Come October, and it's showtime.

天边

连线很差，加上自己莫名其妙的感到情绪化...也许今晚自己有些不了解为什么自己会这样。那我就一面写一面理一理思绪吧。

一个人的情绪与责任，我突然觉得有时是些许相关的。刚才闷了一顿气，加上在感冒，老是抽鼻涕的，登时有些昏厥的症象。时而连线，时而断线的，自己忽然发现自己什么都没有。就一部简简单单的操作器和软件在决定自己与世界的接触与横联。忽然之间自己很想静一静，重拾自己的心情。

病了，东西还有整堆等着自己。睡过头，醉生梦死一般；呆在房里全力支持女友考试，自己却病得要垮了。真实的太阳来到香港后没看过几次。External hdd坏了，照片全没了，最怀念的地方与朋友近况的相片全都没有。离开了槟城，离开了老妈，离开了女友；我开始在想自己是不是只是一个浪子。在马来西亚呆着，自己却又不想。老想闯荡世界，浪迹江湖。太想和人讲话，好友们却全都见不到彼此，女友只剩下声音在我耳边荡漾。有种失去重心的感觉，见不到人，摸不着影，拥有一切却又没有拥有过。

有种乱世浮生的感觉。这个时候，我像一个旁观者，在看着自己过着如此这般萎靡的生活。

我觉得自己是需要全力投入于工作了。在香港，我除了拥有好友们在msn上的文字还有女朋友的声音，我只剩下自己的身子，双手和脑袋了。只有投入才能忘记一些杂七杂八的思绪。是这样的吗？

可能我不需要什么贵重的东西安慰自己。我老爸买了这么多东西，可是感情上有一个很大的洞永远无法以财物弥补。我无法常常快乐，因为我有时需要悲伤来提醒自己在一个弱肉强食的环境里苟且偷生。我需要的也许不是令我快乐的笑话，那些笑话我多得是。我需要的是你和我说你会陪着我，你不会离弃我，无论风风雨雨你依然在我身边支持我。那已经非常足够了。

我的牙龈突然流血了。

仔细的舔着它，轻轻地感觉着自己的血。很陌生吧。竟然忘了自己会流血。

头发又长了，明天还有很多事情要做，突然很疲累。不是压力。我觉得会这样，如果没错应该是自己什么都没干到的原因吧。没灯的公用厅可以瞭望到远边的海。有一种安详的宁静。我仿佛听到去年海浪向我呼唤的声音：醒了喂，向前走，不然就会被浪打翻在后头。

一半的灵魂已经在沙滩上缺氧了。我必须归向大海。我必须开始像个小海龟一样努力的向生存地爬去。我感觉到窒息了。我忍受不了自己。我太懦弱了，什么都不曾做好过。这个学期，打从这个时刻，我要奔向天边的太阳，不懈的。

我的使命在自己手中。把握，或失去。我有自由选择，我却没权利对自己与心爱的人不负责任。

天边之外还有天边；天边无止无境。心内若是怀不下努力的天空，我将看到的莫过于是黄昏的临界。跑，要跑。我要追回早晨的天边。

现在凌晨一点二十分。热滚滚的太阳在呼唤我了。给自己加把劲！我的太阳，我的山边的小家园，我爽朗的老妈，我温柔可馨的妻儿子女。简单的梦，坚辛的汗水。

True; Love

I found it, after a long toil. At least, finally I know what true love is.

True love starts with the word 'true', which in another words, 'honesty' is the most important and exceeds above all the others. 'Love' comes next as to speak.

We started it off with a spark of coincidence, but got so fortunate because both of us had been hurt so much in our past relationships, we come to realize honesty is the key to start things correctly. We tell each other everything along the way as we get to know each other more. We learn everything about each other's life before we meet up. Even the darkest secret.

The rest just comes easily when we meet up. So natural that our dates were like those long lost feelings being laid afresh in front of us again. We dated like we had dated a thousand times before. Things were so familiar: feelings; understanding; sweetness.

I guess I have finally found my other half. I feel myself complete when we join hands and promise to walk together in our future. Every moment, now and then, feels more than perfect. I never know true love is something so simple and beautiful.

I love you, Pei Zhen.

Darker, and deeper than black

Tracing my own steps back to the deepest of my mind, I think I saw an illusion. Or was it that I had been living in illusion?

Under the moonlight, I was dreaming of a land full of butterflies and primitive house, with a meadow of soft grasses and dark heaven; then i stumbled upon a ripple of water, resonating within the forged image.

Someone is calling out my name in a faraway land.

Am I the son of loneliness and endless travel? Am I the prisoner of an infinite loop of lone affection? While I myself am searching within my own soul, a song which is strange to me but yet so familiar is starting to play. First far in the mountain, now vibrating just inches from my ears.

The secret is beginning to disclose itself. Tonight, the sky is darker than black. Finally, I get to see the real heaven without the pollution of artificial lights.

Soul will rise, Close your eyes
Downfallen (Fallen) Falling
Give me sight to see inside
I’m calling

Say it isn't so

Watched episode 7 of One tree hill season 2 just now. Things finally settled. Staying in the wonders of summer doesn't mean relaxation and fun. Rather work and anxiety are the usual partners i live with, and the feeling of being far away from my pals too.

"Look at this," Karen paused, a little nervous. "Does this picture ever look right to you?"

Andy lifted his eyebrow, turned around and looked into the mirror with Karen. "Yeap, absolutely." he did not hesitate.

Then he turned around, took a step towards Karen, and looked into her eyes deeply. "The question is, does it feel right?"

Yeap, I am alright. Don't worry about me. I m quite busy lately but everything is okay. You take care with everything too. Don't overwork yourself.

Last night a storm hit Hong Kong. The lightning was so near us and the thunder was scary. When a shine of blue jump across the mirrors in the common room, a hallmate asked: You shot a photo?

Haha, I laughed. Wonder why it's so dry this summer. It used to wet and humid.

When I am closer to my goals and achievements, I feel sadder and sadder. This feeling...that I am losing something. Something that once I am confident that I have it in my hands. Perhaps bird is right. I have to be ready myself that I will lose it anytime from now. I look at the two jetpads lying under my table, waiting for me to put them on. The time shuttle is not waiting. Rather, it doesn't even care to warn me. Time's up, and it will take off, with or without me on board.

Andy then kissed Karen. A short kiss. Karen was a little shocked herself, then she smiled. "And that feels right."

I am already at the end of it, almost. The fuel cell is running dry and I don't have any charger to charge it again. My wings are calling me, urging me on every day. They are beginning to get irritated. Looking at the photos of a totally different culture which she sat before, smirking, the pain gushed in again. I feel like dying.

Yeap, I am alright. Don't worry about me. I m quite busy lately but everything is okay. You take care with everything too. Don't overwork yourself.

p/s: repeat the last paragraph endlessly, till you are irritated and grew tired of it. thank you.

This is what brings us on

Haha guys, thought i told u all i gonna update only after 1st week of june...but after i read xinch's and bak kim's latest posts, i then realize how much had we gone through since we left our home and live on our own.

last year during fall semester i kept doubting myself but going through a lot of things at last. a lot of 'first time's, and a lot of tears and fun too. boredom haunts us all the while tho we haf new friends. the usual circle is always warmer. reading books like murakami's and movies like 'spirited away' in foreign land make me think of home, of old friends and old habits. especially murakami's. his novels describing loneliness and travelling fit my situation the best. reading backpackers' travelogue brings me a strange feeling of being a wanderer who left his home for a long, long, long, long time. thus i brought myself to backpack to taiwan. and i m planning my next stop to be cambodia, thailand and vietnam. things are getting a lot different for everyone of us. we are curious about everything new. and we're getting older.

guys and girls, time is what we have at this time. burn it, with passion, with your dreams and endless fight of yours to bring them to reality. things are new, the place is new, people are different and the food is strange, but deep inside we know that we are getting closer to who we wanna be. mind that direction. we're on the path. we're on the ride. my winamp is playing james blunt's 'high'. Getting high...running wild among all the stars above; Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

thanks for still remembering my presence, my old friends. of course, i remember you guys too, just like yesterday. This, is what brings us on.

Ode to the Lonely Nights

If I ever knew something
I bet it will be the anticipation of pain;
Of sorrow; and of helplessness,
that I trapped myself within.


Entangled, I face the darkness alone,
With warm water raining down on me, the tiny little
prickling sensation I say, was all I need
To tread this road of solitary affection
The shy, avoiding voice thousand of miles away
swaying, or far away it is
helps cradling the flame within my soul
though the mere thought to catch that familiar vibration
sends me to near annihilation every night
yet when I am yearning for it
I feel myself alive
A single fleeting moment
enough to redeem the endless hours of suffocation

Tagged!! About the weird me

Hello guys it may seems to be a weird post coz i din even talk about how my exams go or how my visit to Taiwan has been~~haha, that's becoz now that i m back in my uni, i m entering the final 5 weeks of my semester...this means ultimate stressful preparation of final exam, assignments, and lab reports. Plus i m entering a contest of civil engineering design, so guys, prepare not to see me online for a month ++. Well, i mean u will not see me frequently. so i guess i just do this tag xinch asked me to first...lolz...all right, here it goes:


Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1. I love pain

• Pain keeps me going. Pain of muscles when running after 2 to 3 hours don't make me stop but rather i love the sensation of it. I will do it until i feel satisfied of the amount of pain i am feeling. (yeap, walking and writing too...)
  
• The pain of not able to sleep well for a few days because i need to rush assignments or study or any extreme workload gets me hyper. I get more encouraged, and more than that, i m enjoying. I am a helpless workaholic. (note: i din learn this from naruto)
• When i run over tables or chairs or sharp edges while i m walking/fighting/rushing, of course i feel the gush of pain, but u dun see me cry in pain because i actually like the feel of it. More pain = more joy. (note: i dun like pain in sex. Sex is about comfort and love. i m not a sadist/machoist)

2. I love darkness

• Haha...actually nobody knows this. I think wei zhi oso dunno this. I really like darkness. I used to fear about darkness when i was a child, but after i grew up, i happen to like darkness. Showering in the dark, pangsai in the dark, everything except reading and doing work.
• that's why when ppl play prank like switching the bathroom light off when i am showering or pangsai, i got excited other than scared. In the dark, i can think more sharply. That's why i can shower in the dark for 3 to 4 hours sometimes.

3. I imagine myself being blind

• I dunno why. Maybe my parents always tell me to not read that much becoz my vision is already very serious. I always imagine myself blind and how helpless will i be. But after i face that fear, i m able to live in darkness. Maybe that's why i like darkness too.

4. A too-fresh-to-be-true memory

• what i learn of myself is, after i start to know and understand things around me, i could remember those little little detail things very well. Some i will forget. And last time xinch told me that i have the denial-forgetting syndrome then i get to realize sometimes i do have a 'bad memory' becoz i 'wanted myself to'.
• But other than that, a lot of detailed features that i captured accidentally in my life, i could remember them well to the very last part.
• This includes what ppl do to me. Yeap i do remember grudges 'extremely well' but i always think myself over it. That's how i obtain my philosophy in life.

5. Unpredictable actions

• Yeah u name it. I plan things-to-do-today but often i get myself to take some surprise route to do something other ppl said crazy. Like when i got back to home at 4 after talk cock with frens at mamak and showered and prepared to sleep, suddenly i feel like driving to air hitam for cyber-cafeing, i will give it a go.
• I always allow unpredicted things to take the path when they come upon me. And i always wanted to try it out. Of course, i judge based off my instinct. Strange huh.

6. Tahan berak

• Yeap this is really damn stupid. But when i m about to pangsai, i like to tahan for a long time. Sometimes one hour. U might said that the feel will go away. But i won't let it go away. The way i do it is i stand and walk around so the berak is still there forcing its way out. Then i just keep standing and walking, feeling the sensation of shivering and 'stim' until i feel that "okay, can berak d".

7. Depressing stuff

• haha it sounds like xinch. it's true. when i see something emo, i tend to play the emo scene over and over my head, make myself cry/sob/absolutely emo for as long as i could. Sometimes the period can span more than a few years.
• and those sad books, songs, sad movies, sad dramas, sad animes and many other, i will try my best to keep a copy for myself so that i can watch over and over again just to get myself emo.
• the more it touches me, the more i enjoy it.

8. I can't stand ppl who only thinks for themselves

• i couldn't deny the fact that we, as human, always think of ourselves most of the time. but i really can't stand those ppl who didn't even consider other ppl punya feeling/didn't think for others and feel so 'right' over it.
• This also applies to those really childish ppl.

9. Indirect vengeance

• Woo...i only found that i haf this inside me after i came to hk. when someone/something really pissed me off, i will choose one of thse two stances: one, to communicate with that person and settle it; two, to keep quiet. if i choose the second stance, i will 'unconsciously' do a lot of things that indirectly
  'pay-back' that person for what he/she did to me without i knowing it myself.
• and i got hyper when i see that person suffers, altho i dun even know it's from me myself.
• when i realize it's me who actually been behind these, i get depressed. then i tell myself to think over it. then i got quiet for a few days, think it through and settle it then. but some 'really-pissed-me-off' ppl....i still can't control my 'indirect vengeance' instinct now.

10. I talk to myself

• i like to talk to myself when there're things that i can't solve. i will keep whispering to myself, either vocally or in undertone.
• i can imagine myself standing in front me talking to me. can actually stare at that person for a few hours until things are settled.
• oh yeah, when i think about things, i imagine it. and i can see it in front of me, visualizing itself. it's weird or not i dunno. I can link things like those touch screen computer programmes u see in sci-fi movies by moving my eyes from here to there becoz those things i imagine are floating in the air in front of me.
• when i talk to myself, those words form into a cloud like what we call 'words document'. only that i dunnit to open it. when i look at it, i straight know everything of it. often when i talk to myself, i will sort those thoughts into different clouds, and put them there when i need to make a conclusion.
• when ppl talk to me, i will form the clouds too. that's why i can remember what ppl said easily. i just 'record' them in front of my eyes.

I tag:

Dan the bird in Perth. (oi update ur blog la)
wenying the housefly in England.
caryn the 'gym' fish
june the dentist
and whoever feels like doing it for fun.
(sam, i wanna tag u but i think ur blog is unofficially dead d....haih...but please do this tag if u happened to read this post ;D )