Battling Pain

Who will prevail??? Me or you???

Lemme tell u something, I basked in the golden fire during my reincarnation in 2004, having endured the most immense heat of my whole life. Since then I know nothing of a combat that will wear me off.

But you are becoming the one who can actually challenge me to my death. Suddenly I feel that I am in a situation similar to Jiraiya. I am fighting you, Pain, who has six different bodies.

May Amaterasu be with me. This will be the toughest war ever. I will never give up, even when I am drawing my last breath I will still make sure my blade inches towards your throat. You may think that I am out of my mind. You may think that I am just another waste that go against you.

But one thing is for sure, no matter what is the outcome, I win, because I have surpassed myself. I have slaughtered four of you today. I will make damn sure I will see the other two of you perish in front of me by Saturday. Mind my words. You have your warning.

Sharingan Upgraded

Yes, you are not reading wrongly. Weeks after I activated my Sharingan sight, I finally come to realize something is wrong with my sharingan.

Not really that something is wrong. But rather something is burning.

And here it comes, the art of Amaterasu. A black flame which will engulf the enemy till he is burnt to death, just by a glance of the eyes.

But it strains me badly. After I use it I will be rendered physically devastated. How to obtain this art of the eye? Easy. Sleep only like 2 hours per day and fight your battle through endless sleepless nights. When the sky falls dark on you, you will see the dawn of Amaterasu.

Overhaul

Full concentration required.

Gonna get over those subjects in plain few days. Assignments are pretty much done.

Been a long, long time since I work my bones. And read too. Aiks. Summer gonna be the only way out solution for these.

Exams haven't started but the mind is already on what to do in summer. I should stop dreaming. GOGOGO!

心寒

自己雖然不喜歡廣東話與廣東人，這裡還是想以廣東話操這位無情的台灣人一句：仆街！屌你老母個西！蛋散！

這篇文章：“有話直說》中國地震，台灣熱乎什麽勁兒？”提出了什麽狗屁東西。。。說如果台灣人今天救了四川的人，以後可能今天所救的人會把台灣人給幹掉。。。這是何其怪異的道理呀？請問這位台灣人，還有那些推薦這篇文章的人們，你們的思維本身是不是出現了巨大的問題？

看得憤怒填膺的時候，也順便瀏覽了其他人的意見，見到了一位另一位台灣仁兄的文章（四川大地震還說風涼話，白目而冷血），覺得甚是有理：“你家鄰居失火了，反正他家存款有幾十億，房子又有保險，反正有燒不到你，所以不關你事？”。看了真是暢然啊。

大家同樣是漢族，我相信中國人也不會任意攻打台灣。想一想，你是中國中央的話，你會隨意向台灣發起戰爭嗎？對雙方不好又對自己大大失利的事情，中國不會做，況且都是自己同胞，福建湖南有著無數台灣人的祖鄉，自己打自己，笑死人了。

前幾天和老朋友談起中國，說起中國情操，他說了一句：“中國其實不把咱們海外華僑當作中國人啊。”， 讓我有無數的疑問。是不是我們祖輩離開了中國，血裡面流的不再是屬於華僑的血液了？為什麽當我們把自己當成華人時，卻認不到中國了？我相信我的老友不是其中一個。我們這班海外華人，馬來西亞的，新加坡的，泰國的，印尼的，美國的還有世界各地的，我們沒有自稱華人嗎？我們沒有用普通話抑或中國其中一個方言嗎？我們現在沒有親戚在中國嗎？

當然，活在當下我們是世界村民。我們應該對世界各地受災難所影響的人們伸出援手及關懷，可是畢竟很多時候我們做不到。本人認為，能向自己的同胞，同鄉，祖鄉及現在居住的國家的有需要人士伸出援手盡自己的一份力，已經是非常不簡單了。你們知道嗎，這么久以來，東南亞地區有發生華人大屠殺事件，中國都有偷偷派船隻來接走這些華人？五一三事件，中國有沒有扮演譴責的角色？暗地裡在泰國邊境也有派援，這些事情，馬來西亞政府不會告訴我們。馬來人不會告訴我們。牽涉的太廣，只有當事人才有消息。

老實說，真要這么舉證，我們才能夠去愛中國嗎？真的要刻意學習，我們才會愛中華文化嗎？我的華族同胞們，當我們自稱華族的時候，當我們在用著華語的時候，當我們在說著中華方言的時候，當我們在貢拜著中國道教的神明的時候，不要忘記我們的根。不要在我們被其他民族當成外族欺壓的時候才說，中國啊，幫我們說說話！不要在我們被其他民族欺壓的時候，以自己是華人的名義召集群眾，如果你平時把中國與華族看扁，不認同自己的根源與膚色。

是的，我討厭廣東文化及思想。可是，畢竟一百年以後連香港人也是在說著普通話了。我們都是華裔，都是屬於中華民族的。我們有責任肩負身為一個華人的基本態度及操行。我們有責任從一個人的角度去思考問題。

那些在台灣及其他地方推薦那篇文章的人們，你們最好不要再寫中文了。你們讓我覺得無比的噁心。你們不是華人，也不是台灣人。是的，我們上一代有國民黨及中共之戰，可是那時候何嘗不是各懷鬼胎？今天呢？大家面臨的是整個華族被威脅的命運，還要自搞內訌嗎？也想借此向某些香港居民發表一些意見：你們如果歧視中國，就別叫自己香港人。你們現在已經是在中國境內了。去到外面自稱香港人而厭惡中國人，這種行為太搞笑，太貽笑街坊了。

四川的人們需要我們。大家有錢出錢，有力出力。這裡我以一段視頻結尾。希望大家能盡己所能作出努力。中國加油！！！！！

震

西川大地震，震醒了中華民族。

看到那么脆弱的混凝鋼筋結構在地震下應聲倒下，看到無數的孩子流的淚，看到無辜死亡的無數生命，我一次又一次的哭了。

歷史上差不多每件天災都涉及土木工程專業。雖然自己以前對土木工程的重要性十分了然，但是今天自己才真正了解自己肩負的責任有多重大。

每每看到溫家寶對營棚里被救出來的孩子們說：“你們能幸存下來，就要好好活下去。”，我就會哽咽，飯都吃不下去。

中國，你是中華民族的柱子與祖地，也是我心系的母國。我會為無數的亡魂祈禱，為自己未來的專業盡最大的努力，學到最好，然後奉獻給你。

中國加油！四川，撐下去！

Sharingan

24 hours without sleep and a grueling war with the toughest clan on earth didn't seem to wear me out at all.

At the end of the war, after I slaughter the last breathe of my last enemy with my katana, I come to realize that I have come to arm myself with the greatest eye jutsu of all time: the Sharingan.

Yes, the Sharingan. I bet I am the amateur user now as I only have one comma in both eyes. But it feels so real, like an orgasm. The heightened sense of going to war with the feeling that you are faster than anyone.

Yes, the Uchiha legacy will live. The wars that I fought and will fight, will be remember well in the history. The swiftness of the slashes and perfect copy of the smart moves that my enemies take pride in.

And yes, the legacy continues with me.

The Matrix?

Damn, I am having this thing happening to me again. Sometimes when I am working very hard, even how high-spirited I am, I will suddenly feel so sleepy and I will then lie on the table, falling asleep.

The next thing I would know is there are diagrams from the subject I am reading being forcefully loaded into my brains. I would see self-explanatory notes on the confusing diagrams and data, flipping through my brains according to my own pace. This sensation will last for about half an hour, and when I wake up later, it seems that I can understand the subject intuitively.

I hope someone out there who share the same experience as I do tell me about your own experience as well. Jeez, it really does feel like being in the Matrix.

Some say

We lost the competition again, by close call. Everytime there will be something that we overlook or it happens that we meet someone who spoils up everything, for this time it is the Mr. Mad Technician of HKUST Concrete Lab who blew up our structure by assuming that the earthquake intensity and frequency for the model testing on his own. Fuck him. Because of him we thought the amplitude of this competition gonna be huge and we actually over-reinforce the structure and what the fuck is, we lose by 3 grams. Mother Lord.

Walking in my campus, wandering aimlessly looking for my lost pride. Where it is? Maybe it's time to...wait, lemme rephrase. It is definitely the time to repick my pride in my results, at least hold on to my scholarship. Yes, it's time.

Some say, we're never meant to grow up, I'm sure they never knew enough. I know the pressure won't go away. It's too late.

Coffee & some thoughts...

Just realized that lately I had been having a lot of coffee, and now already becoming addicted to its fragrance. Whenever I need to do a huge amount of work, whenever I need to do overnight studying, whenever I feel that my eyelids will drop anytime...yes, I will have coffee. Quite not the me who I use to be. I use to laugh at the effects of coffee because honestly, coffee didn't have any significant effect on me. I guess, I just need the feeling of staying awake and vigilant to cling onto.

Had some thoughts this afternoon:
1) When we try to be fast, we slow ourselves down; why not try to do something with my own heart without considering the speed?
2) something that seems to be absurd and totally unbelievable does not mean it does not and will not happen. What we think is normal, is just the fact that it is normal or not, doesn't mean it won't happen and it is not for good.
3) work hard n harder n harder. i don't deserve a bad grade. do i?

have a nice day everyone...ok, time to work!

20%

Live for now, live for whatever that is present at this moment, not what is to come.

We will spend a whole 20% of our lives thinking bout the future. That is base on an assumption that one spends about 2 hours thinking bout tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and even ten years later everyday. Isn't that scary?

In war, we fight for what is precious to ourselves. Sometimes, even without knowing it, we are sacrificing every bit of ourselves to protect those that we care about the most.

This is a war. We're all on it. Let us fight it, bravely, and courageously. Be strong, be vigilant, and triumph in every single effort of ourselves which is striving to keep things the way we wish they would be. Let's work the hardest. And, all of my buddies, I believe that we are ready.

Tomorrow comes with what we do today. Live. Live for today and a better tomorrow will come. Fight. Fight for today and a beautiful tomorrow awaits.

輸入法升級！！！微軟的失敗。。。

昨天晚上挺興奮的，因為發現了兩種新的輸入法，一為谷歌輸入法，一為搜狗輸入法。後來發現原來谷歌輸入法有抄襲搜狗輸入法的跡象，自己在兩個不同公司的實 驗室網站看了一下，發現谷歌輸入法的確沒有搜狗的厲害，詞庫方面的導入也優化于谷歌的，感覺也快的很多。雖然發現到谷歌輸入法的妙處，可是用了用搜狗輸入 法，發現還是搜狗的妙一些。

好吧，我也就正式介紹大家這個互聯網裡最新的拼音輸入法技術。雖然話說谷歌輸入法不妙還有技術欠佳，可是它還是有一個可以在一面打字一面搜查google網站的特點，也不是全然不行的。可是若是要比起打中文字這一方面，還是搜狗遠遠領先了。

或許有一天谷歌進步了，那可能我會選用那個版本。確實，在任何方面來說，微軟輸入法已經被用者淘汰了。微軟弱勢越來越不妙，有接近崩潰的味道了。

就在此補丁上搜狗輸入法的網址及基本功能解釋吧：

網址：http://pinyin.sogou.com/

1. 超强互联网词库，无所不包

利用搜索引擎技术，根据搜索词生成的输入法互联网词库，能够覆盖所有类别的流行词汇。无论是最新的歌手、电视剧、电影名、游戏名，还是球星、软件名、动漫、歌曲、电视节目，全部一网打尽。

2. 先进的智能组词算法，首选词准确率第一

最新的智能组词算法应用了领先的搜索引擎技术，分析搜索引擎语料库的语言模型，使搜狗输入法的首选词准确率在所有输入法中居第一。

3. 功能强大，兼容多种输入习惯

提供全面的按键设置和外观选择，尽可能适应各种常见输入法的输入习惯，使智能ABC、微软拼音、拼音加加、紫光拼音等输入法的用户都可以轻松上手。

4. 易用性佳，高级功能丰富

通过对输入细节的观察，我们特别设计了许多体贴的功能，ign→ing拼音纠错、网址输入模式、词语联想、自动在线升级词库等为你创造更为流畅的输入体验！

哈哈，就此完結吧。哦，對了，對女生來說可能是個好消息。。。對的，搜狗輸入法擁有皮膚設置！！你可以擁有一個天花亂墜的輸入皮膚，不再是平庸的輸入畫面了。嘿嘿。。。不錯吧。。。去睇睇一下吧。;-)

干涸

不斷的付出後，心靈逐漸地干涸。在冬天將盡，春天將始的日子裡，我再看見一條披滿荊棘之路。

無數的刺，無數的事。

心靈干涸之前盡所能的努力。只為了生存。

費盡力氣也要逆流而上。務必要如此。

Revival

Things are getting back to normal, bit by bit. I can definitely feel the air of it. I am sure that next semester gonna be real comeback hit for me.

As my relationship grows towards stability, I am pretty sure I will have a large share of my time dedicated towards my studies and career in the year to come.

GAMBATTE!!!!!!!!

New

Well hehe guys, i guess i din update for a goddamn long time...so urm, this is sth to review on since a whole new year has commenced and I din actually sit down for a quiet reflection.

Let's see...in the year 2007 i do have great achievements in Spring 2007 and a great summer, for that I met my gf and made two research projects a success. Things turn quite the other way for the other half as immense balancing between heavy work, studies and relationship. Let's just say I got myself trapped, with a clear conscience. And that hurts the most since I am actually feeling the pain, as if being whipped naked.

Life teaches me a lot more. That's what i can say. I changed. The view of politics, family, relationship and career. Well not a big swing but some parts in me were gone. And a part of my heart told me that I missed them. Time moves on. The thing is I get better of it as I love the new self more.

I am a man of darkness. Concealed in darkness always, I search for the meaning of life from time to time. In the past I go after a blink of romance; but for now I search for an eternity of family kind-of love. In the past I achieve for merely achieving; for now I achieve for who I am to be able to achieve. In the new 2008, a lot of huge international political struggles are forecasted, and the storm is sweeping tremendously in my ocean too. Things regretted, things wished, things prepared and things unprecedented. I am preparing myself to get ready. I need time for the mentality to sink in.

Seeing my parents getting old each day, a deep sadness entrench in my weak heart. Hopefully, the time of redemption will come fast as I start to earn myself my own living. At the same time, pouring out love and care to them is more than necessary. I failed to be a respectful son and I failed my mum a lot of times in the past. Hope that in the coming new year I will be able to give myself more to them.

Time flies. Wei zhi is interning in taiwan and my uni second year is going to end by June. Things are getting quite out of hands but they will be under control if a more prepared mind and mentality is summoned. Let's wait for yet another awakening of the dragon in my soul. I want something achieved this time. I hunger for another peak after the decline. This time I swear to go a greater length to do what I am supposed to be doing.

Good luck to all of you who spend not the time (or only a few short hours) with me. Paths are diverged but I think with the same mentality of our gang, we will be converging sooner than we thought, on the road of success and self-satisfaction. Be warned that huge storms are waiting ahead, but I know none of us will be scared. Let's take each other's hands, and march into the vast darkness beyond. God bless us in 2008.

Take care, all my old friends. Time it is for us to fight, fight again and keep fighting. Be it a sacred war or a hated one, we will triumph with our own hands, and build our own solid grounds. Cheers to 2008!!!!!

Life's Prison: the Wrong Turn

The man who he should be, who he should not be? One righteous confession to the officer brings one into discharge and thus a life of a convict ahead. 90 grands of free ride ticket to the highest of all institutions...a structural engineer who owes his brother the sum which he thought he deserves it all the while?

Well, Prison Break got me grounded these few days. First is the structural engineer's charisma, that I have to agree. Second would be the way they narrate the stories of how a truthful, righteous man turn a single wrong corner, and ended up in Fox River Penitentiary.

Mind it. I have been starting to think about this these few days when I sat down before my comp to watch Prison Break. What would happen to me if one day I were to make the choice that possibly could make me go into the state I never want it to be? I mean if I were jailed for a rightful reason or whatsoever, what will become of my life? More importantly, what would become of my family members?

Michael Scofield has all the blueprints on his body. Even a genius who has low latent reception got overwhelmed by uncertainties. I guess that works in line with life too. Nobody could live life as the way they print it to be. It never will.

Well, I guess the last step I could take when I took a wrong turn is: Do what I feel is best and right to me and the people I am responsible for. But prevention is always better than cure. I just have to mind every step I take and every word I mutter, so that I really mean what I am doing and saying before that little step brought me into the deep mess of wrong turn consequences that I ever have to face.

Hope this will serve as a warning to myself. Let's get it implanted into my head before I wrap myself into my blankets tonight.

Engineers

Three things, might be all, might be none, might be both of them or might be one of them:

1) Alcohol;
2) Coffee;
3) Cigarette

Oops. I heard from wei zhi that he had one more: potato chips. lol.

These things are those which accompany most of the engineers and engineers-to-be every night when they are designing and solving problems.

Well, I admit it, it's fun though. It's like burning your life, and you feel contented with it.

Since when those two become my partners in handling problems? Well, haha, it's life. I guess I'm finally becoming one of those adults in the anime or movie or whatsoever, without realising it. Really, I have no intention of trailing those 'typical' habits. But just, it's stress relieving.

Let's burn this night through with beer. Cheers!

Equilibrium

Always it's a question about equilibrium. No matter in structural analysis or studies or relationship.

Another student in my uni committed suicide. It is indeed very sad to see someone took his own life away like that, at a price that no one would be able to bid for. Every student in my uni is excellent. Losing any will cost a great loss to the world, of course.

Well as I am holding a scholarship to study now I understand the stress that guy was undergoing perfectly. It is, indeed, very very very stressful. Especially this semester. Calculations are becoming chaotic, plus I have a LDR to maintain.

Let's see where the path will guide me. Anyhow, I hold on strongly to my beliefs, my efforts and my relationship.

May that be the same with everyone of you out there, my blessed friends. Let's make it through together, all out, but not at the cost of our own lives. Every step of ours counts, so does every breath of ours. Amitabha. Be happy. Be strong. Be confident. Believe, or perish.

KNNABCCB

KNNABCCB!!! CCB!!!!!! TWO MIDDLE FINGERS UP!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCB!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

KNNABCCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNNABCCCCCCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

每一天都是新的练习

今天大扫除，加上第一次成功收到阿甄的歌，又找到也成功地download到了Darker than Black的原声带，虽然书没读多少，可是收获却很大。

一直以来在自己的房间住都有种不自在的感觉，大扫除完后感觉不同了。东西放在那里自己有个分寸，终于有种家的感觉，自己习惯自己存在的所在，也有种安定下来的感觉。

听着阿甄的歌，听着听着自己也跟着旋律泛起了一阵淡淡的伤感。对的，每天都是新的练习，要以今天换走昨天的过去。我的期中考有一科考得他妈的像屎一样，其他的科目在mean之上，但是也是不高不矮，他妈的什么成绩。阿甄说得对，选择了爱情，说怎样情绪上与生活上的调整是一定有的，需要的是我们两个把这些影响控制到怎样的程度而已。

今天是新的开始。好的开始。有一种感觉说我从现在开始会得心应手，也会开始幸运。就算不是，也要酱告诉自己。唯有正面的想法会引导我们走向正面的人生。

Youko Kanno的jazz深深地抓住了我。在她的音乐中我找到感触，random的想法及突然爆发的愁绪与伤感。第一次爱上jazz，不是故意的去听与尝试去喜欢，而是不知不觉地被Darker than black的故事与节奏俘虏去了。说起来，Darker than black是一部陪我走过有一段日子的动画。第一集，我还记得是在SU看的，那时大概深夜三点多吧。莫名其妙的在等死亡笔记的download时发现了这部动画的名字怪有感觉的，就下载了一集来看，一看就喜欢上了。我还有一个深深的印象，那几个我在追Darker than black前几集的晚上我都是在SU的房里，都是在深夜；也是我第一次与阿甄真正聊天而在彼此心目中留下了幽默谈话内容的几晚。Darker than black的故事与其意义，音乐，还有每次在深夜看完后与阿甄的聊天在这近半年以来可以说令到我的生活有了几乎180度的转变：从苦恋到热恋，从孤独奋战到拥有彼此，从旧的梦想到新的里程碑，还有无数生活细节上的改变，一言难尽。

故事的主人翁到最后选择了契约者的能力与正常人的情绪的并存。这个选择是无比的痛苦与残忍的，因为两者一开始就不能并存。这条路一选下去就有无数难以意料的后果。可是主人翁说：我决定了。从今天开始我不再是以前的我了。然后他就隐埋闹市，遁逃尘间。

我何尝不是一样。选择了学业和远距离恋爱。两者一直以来都很少并存的例子，况且自己的学业又非常地不轻松，现在肩上又负上了一个重担，随时会吃不过力来。

在Youko Kanno的音乐里游思的刹那，我慢慢的进入了‘黑‘的世界。一段时间后恍然，轻轻地告诉自己：从今天开始我不再是以前的我了。

你可以选择不叫我义龙，我真的不怎么理会。我现在的存在是一种全然的蜕新。我的生活是全然另一套法则了。

每一天都是新的练习，锻炼自己，建立新的人生与世界。我是否与'黑‘一样会走到尽头，那得靠自己的斗志了。当然，还有不断地相信自己的运气常伴身旁。相信。

曾几何时我也变成了契约者了。好，契约者有的就是理智。

Darkness, and Rain

The tunes brought forth the feelings of yesterday, now and tomorrow. What if we don't have what we had yesterday and what we gonna have the next second?

I still remember what I told wei zhi: Every person lives with an ultimate dream to achieve, but at the same time also living towards the ultimate goal of having no dream at all.

No matter whatever will the weather be in the next minute, my world is raining. Drops of jupiter in the first minute; tears in the next, following with laughters of satisfaction. A loop, slowly converging with age.

Hong Kong rained a few hours back. I still have a chance to beg for a clear blue sky at 10 am later. What's best will come on its own. I'm taking exam as how my destiny take me as who I am before, now and after.

Dreams dream a dream of my dream. Illusion? Nay. It's just you, it's just me, it's just whoever that might be.